I don't know if I write these posts more so to hopefully help someone else out, or to do a much more thorough analysis of my recent behavior and situations. Regardless, here is my update to This post I wrote almost 3 weeks ago

To directly update from that thread: The separate rooms did not work out; we were in my youngest sons room (11 mo) and would constantly wake him up. We now sleep in the same bedroom, in separate beds.

My original Lawyer fell through, from it being a conflict of interest. I meet with my new lawyer on Tuesday. She still has yet to contact a lawyer, and has very little desire to do so. It would also be very difficult for her to get a local lawyer, as I took the last one that would take a case like ours (house + kids).

In my last post I said that the Oneitis was fading. I was wrong. It came back pretty hard a week and a bit ago, and I found myself almost doing anything I could to make her happy. I don't think I am over it completely, nor will I be until I am living separately and have a plate or two. I had to withdraw a lot from contact/communication with her. Wish I could've gone NC, but oh well. Since then, she has said I seem a lot more "cold" and am acting like a "jerk". Apparently she wants to be "BFF's", and her dream future would be "I have my other, you have yours. We can all live in a big house and be friends, and we just sleep in different bedrooms. No joke.

I have rethought my decision to live with her, especially after finding out I was guaranteed a house with 3 bedrooms on base within 60 days. Renting would be just over half my mortgage, but no taxes to pay. This is very tempting especially going from 2 incomes to 1. However, I liked owning a house at a young age, and knowing that my monthly payments went towards a beneficial end, instead of just paying a landlord. At this point I think buying a new house is a bit outside of my financial means, or responsibility. I also think that living on base would benefit me with all the resources I get from being military - Early daycare, cheaper rent, free gym, closer proximity to both work and friends.

The only downsides would be being farther from main shopping and outing hub (10 mins now vs 30 mins) and always being surrounded by military females (completely not worth it).

This next part is interesting, and I would love to see how some of you interpret what is going on.

She has started seeing the guy she was with before we divorced, when it was an open relationship. She has constantly said that she wouldn't, she needed to figure stuff out for herself, wanted to take time since she just ended our marriage... blah blah. She can say what she wants.

What I do know is :

  • She has prioritized seeing him over anything else (including her children)

  • She will do anything for him (Has told her to have me deal with the kids/put them to bed so she can see him)

  • Always intends to go on a date "but ends up at his house somehow"

  • Lies to him about anything to get his validation/approval

I've read some of their facebook conversations, and while at first, it just hurt my ego and made me feel like shit, I have since used it to learn a lot of RP truth. I don't think he reads this sub, or is aware of his RP tendencies. He seems more to me like he is naturally RP, but slowly and surely becomes Beta when she asks him for comfort/assurance.

He will ignore her for hours, flake on Skype dates/phone calls, but she comes back for more. However, he is constantly apologizing, and reassuring her that he will try his best, he is fully committed to her, he can't wait to see where this goes. I would say they have been dating for about 2.5 weeks, and tomorrow night she is going to an extended family dinner with him to meet everyone. He has even offered to help renovate/repair areas of our house for very little/free.

It's weird, but I feel like this is working out to my advantage right now. She has stated numerous times "mostly while crying" that she wouldn't care if I took the house, or everything we own. She just wants to be friends with me, and to continue seeing her children. If we had a divorce with no one else involved, I feel like she would be more attached to her possessions, but as it is, she is holding onto this new guy like a life raft and hoping he takes her to paradise.

After realizing this, I feel like getting the fuck out is the best course. It might even be worth it to give up my portion of the house (owned for 2.5 years, not a huge investment I can't recover at 23), to have no ties with her whatsoever when he next's her, or she dries up like the Sahara. Curious what some more veteran RP's think of her behavior on this.

TL:DR Starting to get my own life on track, with a few falters. Wife is "head over heels" for a new guy, which is working out better for me.

I also had a random questions for anyone who lifts regularly (so everyone), did any of you have a hard time gaining weight? aka being a hardgainer. I might not be eating enough, but my weight hasn't moved in 4 weeks. I was also maybe only 13% BF so I know I am not losing fat and gaining equal muscle mass.