Married for 14 years all BP. Just swallowed the RP. Still lots to learn. But been slowly attempting to change my role as a leader in our marriage. I've also been using the STFU method a lot lately. Arguing has always been a big downfall of mine.

Today she text me about how we are NOT going to run our marriage as a captain and first mate. And that we are EQUALS! I don't know if it's appropriate to quote her text but here it is:

"Here's the thing...this "ship" is OURS not YOURS! We are a team. I'm not one of your "crew" I'm your equal, nothing more and nothing less. You need to understand that real quick. And yesterday I begged for you to talk to me and you ignored me. I didn't say anything mean, I wasn't yelling, I was being nice and you ignored me. That was down right rude. If this is how you are going to treat me then I don't want anything to do with it. Cutting someone down isn't the right way you treat your EQUAL! "

She has really been hitting me with shit tests lately and I've been doing my best to A&A. Or just STFU instead of arguing like I always have. She gave me a HARD NO last night and I shrugged it off. Working on my OI, although it ate me up inside i maintained frame. She lost it after this. Calling me all kinds of names. Saying I don't care for her anymore. I thought she might cry. I would usually pout and whine about getting rejected. Not this time! Next day at work, she texts me with this BS!

How do I respond to this. Obviously I ignored the text but it's gonna come up in person. I have so much to learn. Teach me!