Fake confidence

Hudini15 · 2018-08-04T21:55:49+00:00

Seek discomfort. Do the things that you fear most. Make progress toward your mission. Take cold showers. Get rejected. Eventually your comfort zone will conquer the world and approaching that hooter’s hottie will just be second nature. Eventually you’ll start laying down Hollywood worthy lines before you even get a chance to think of them. You’ll be thinking to yourself “did I just say that?”

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2018-08-04T23:26:43+00:00

That shit doesn’t give you confidence. You gotta fail at shit. Fail, fail, fail, then start succeeding. Success brings confidence. I saw a quote once it said “sucking at something is the first step to being sorted good at something”. And it’s obviously true. I’m a master craftsman. I sucked as an apprentice, got yelled at, wanted to quit but just kept on. Now I’m in demand. I charge $240 per hr and am backed up for months.

Same with lifting, I started 4 years ago, I was 155lbs of skinnyfat. I was intimidated, I felt old (I was 34) thought I’d never be the guy with an impressive body. Kept at it, kept adding weights. I can say in only 4 years I’m in the top 5% of men my age for SMV.

Talking to strangers, same thing. I was uncomfortable talking to people I didn’t know. But started just with small talk (I needed to learn how to be a salesman with my business) and only talked about what I knew, after a while I learned people are desperate for friendly conversation. Talked to everyone I felt like, got people smiling, they felt good, I felt good. Moved on to flirting with women. Started with 5-6s. I knew they found me attractive so it was easy. Moved up to 7-8s. Guess what, even if it went nowhere they were usually still friendly. An 8 thinks she’s a 10 so the only difference talking to an 8 or a 10 is in your head anyway.

Long story short. Confidence comes with practice. You have to suck before you get good. There is no shortcut, there is no walking up one day being a different person then who went to sleep. Get a goal, work for it, achieve it.

Oh, and booze. Booze gives confidence.

UnbreakableFrame · 2018-08-04T23:27:31+00:00

Think of your confidence as a form of brand marketing. Everyone can also probably name a few terrible products that people buy up like crazy. Think of Apple. Subpar products almost across the board. Under-powered tech for next year's prices. They simply have the best marketing in the game. They just created a brand image people want to be a part of.

Create an image of yourself that men and women want to be a part of. You'll notice that all of the less good looking guys who get a lot of girls all have something in common with each other: they are really popular amongst their guy friends. They have created a brand. It's said here often, but women will often let the men decide who the best man is and then just pick him.

boy_named_su · 2018-08-05T01:55:28+00:00

The only way to gain confidence is from past success. Start on easy mode. Learn from failures and mimic successes

Caper67 · 2018-08-05T05:38:37+00:00

Do things that naturally put you outside of your comfort zone. Like most others have said. But for me. the best advice was never to "fake it till you make it." - But to "fake it till you become it."

Early on it's like acting, but one day it becomes who you are. Just like a new grip in golf or a new awkward technique in martial arts.

codak-18 · 2018-08-05T14:31:24+00:00

Create options.

This applies to almost anything and everything in your life-women,money, social circle, etc.

You do this by seeking discomfort as mentioned in other comments. Do the things that make you uncomfortable (cold approaches, lifting, monetize your hobbies and set your price, and find new groups to make friends).

The more options in life you have, the more confident you will be to go out and pursue new opportunities-whatever that may be.

Good luck, brother.

daytonbull90 · 2018-08-04T23:17:16+00:00

That's not fake confidence that's real confidence, you can look like DJ Khaled and pull HB8's with enough confidence. Lack of self esteem, your image of yourself hinders your confidence, love yourself even if you look like shit and know it.

Serious_Tour · 2018-08-04T23:24:22+00:00

latinasonly · 2018-08-05T02:48:56+00:00

the friend you are mentioning has high SMV - confidence is the most essential part of SMV and you just said he has way too much confidence

"people repect him and value him highly" - also component of highSMV, no doubt a product of his high confidence - which is in turn a helped by people respecting him and valuing him. its a feedback loop.

"pulls bitches" - he has high SMV

mike21p · 2018-08-05T07:16:57+00:00

Thanks for the comments. So then the confidence is not fake at all and entirely possible to achieve. So basically I have think of myself as high value and not give a shit about how anyone else values me. I should also get outta my comfort zone to try new things and get rejected but keep frame, learn, and keep trying until I stop getting rejected and the feedback loop naturally boosts my confidence. Right? Also obviously while lifting, chasjng my dreams, boxing, and things of that short that raise my smv

Title	Fake confidence
Author	mike21p
Upvotes	16
Comments	17
Date	August 4, 2018 9:46 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/94mqin/fake_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/fake-confidence.129389 https://theredarchive.com/post/129389

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