First attempt at maintaining frame. Am I doing it right?

rptossitout · 2015-11-30T01:57:54+00:00

The whole conversation could have been boiled down to ~ two texts vs the entire conversation you look like you had. "When you can speak to me in a respectful, adult fashion, I'll respond." Then follow through. Never complain, never explain.

assured_destruction · 2015-11-30T02:31:40+00:00

I think the end result is good, but you over explained and defended yourself unnecessarily. As soon as she threw the "I Love you" BS out it was time to go silent for sure.

Probably no reply after the first angry attack.

MasterUm · 2015-11-30T06:40:26+00:00

I was almost laughing out loud

Great feeling, isn't it? That's how you know the pill worked. The manipulation that would have crushed you previously now looks like a child trying to punch you.

I explained that she could throw whatever she liked at me but I just didn't care

Yet you still definitely lack the experience. Explaining is meaningless and doesn't work. Good for you to have a closure, but save it for your bros next time.

"I love you. I tried so hard but nothing could make you happy."

Shit test. Bait (cheap, desperate bait of a spoiled woman), then attack.YOU are at fault, nothing could make YOU happy. You responded ok, since you genuinely don't care, but lets think of a better answer. Semi-overt talk (not recommended), A&A: "Yup, all my fault. Real sorry about that." Powertalk: "Well we grow older and we learn on our way", Frame control: "Too late now."

You clearly passed the test with your honest IDGAF though. Looks like main event went just fine.

Now you decide whether you want her back, or divorce. Please seriously consider r/marriedredpill sidebar before proceeding. Best of luck.

daddymonsterpoodle · 2015-11-30T09:15:54+00:00

What is semi overt and A&A?

daddymonsterpoodle · 2015-12-01T06:53:45+00:00

Well, I had a chance to try again...I dont do so well face to face with my ex. She came around (after txting all week we need to talk). She does own half the house, it is hard to stop her. Before I get home I.text her to say if the conversation gets angry or accusatory the conversation was over. So we sit down to talk and the shit test starts so I ignore the first stream of crap, then I agree and amplify. You are right, I am the biggest asshole in the whole world, bigger than adolf hitler and joseph mengele. She starts again so I just get up and leave and go into my house. She follows me in bitching. I just sit there sitting and smiling. She gets pissy, asks me why I am just sitting there gloating. More shit tests. I just nod and agree with the smile on my face. She finally says, what will you do if I stay.? I laugh and say, 'treat yourself, make a cup of tea. I am leaving.' I leave and head off to a mates for a beer.

penguin_says_slide · 2015-11-30T01:52:04+00:00

Yeah you did well.

Just bear in mind don't be a dick for the sake of being a dick. If she's being reasonable and you have the time, willingness to engage with her, do it.

Title	First attempt at maintaining frame. Am I doing it right?
Author	daddymonsterpoodle
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	November 30, 2015 1:47 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3usi9p/first_attempt_at_maintaining_frame_am_i_doing_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/first-attempt-at-maintaining-frame-am-i-doing-it.157173 https://theredarchive.com/post/157173

Comments