First Cold Approach. [Disappointed]

MentORPHEUS · 2015-08-28T01:25:55+00:00

Don't mistake friendliness of service-industry workers for IOIs. Their commissions and tips depend on being friendly.

You have to strike while the iron is hot! Asking the co-worker, or going back later, is too late. Try again and again with other women. Cold approach is a numbers game, your report smacks of budding oneitis.

Archwinger · 2015-08-28T02:26:29+00:00

This wasn't a cold approach. Unless you mean her. You creepily stared at her from across the room until she came over and politely asked you what the fuck you wanted.

Your initial line to her wasn't bad, but you didn't follow through.

But meeting girls isn't about having a script planned out anyway. The more you plan, the more shit can go wrong. Conversations never go the way you pre-plan.

What you need isn't better lines. What you need is practice. This is your "first cold approach" (she did the approach, actually). Of course you're going to fuck it up. You're going to fuck up the next 99 of them, too. Around time 101, you're not going to care any more and will barely feel rejection and you'll just be having fun and saying whatever comes to you. That's about the time you'll start getting phone numbers because you'll have practiced enough that you won't suck at talking to people any more.

JeffsRP · 2015-08-28T04:54:41+00:00

Your title says a lot. You can't be disappointed in an outcome when you are outcome independent.

I assume you already know what 'outcome independence' is, and that you don't have it.

Understand outcome independence took a long time for me.

I finally found a trick to fake-it with that actually worked. (Everyone should read the Book of Pook, it's a bit purple but the writing is spectacular. Everyone should also re-read things, I didn't take in this gem until round 2)

I changed the outcome, from a goal that I desired (having sex with the person I'm talking to), to one that we both desire (having fun with the person I'm talking to). Fun! Imagine that. Now instead of being enemies, we're teammates working towards the same goal.

Being bored is a cardinal sin for women, they hate that shit. They'd rather be angry, furious even, than bored. Give them fun!

The only goal (if any) I have when approaching any woman is fun.

StarDestinyGuy · 2015-08-28T02:21:18+00:00

I had a friend once who applied for 102 jobs one summer. He got the 99th one he applied for.

Keep applying.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2015-08-28T17:04:23+00:00

You didn't 'fail' at all. It was your first could approach. Now go do 1000 more of them.

Sure it's a good idea to go over the game film, but the important thing is to overcome fear of approaching.

FrameWalker · 2015-08-28T17:32:31+00:00

You did not cold approach. You went to the store, stared at the lady working there and she tried to do her job.

Start slow. Keep making eye contact and smiling at girls every day. Once in a while say hi and keep walking. Eventually start a conversation and make small talk. Do this in line, waiting for elevators etc.

Title	First Cold Approach. [Disappointed]
Author	LouieBulk
Upvotes	5
Comments	12
Date	August 28, 2015 1:08 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3io55a/first_cold_approach_disappointed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/first-cold-approach-disappointed.153079 https://theredarchive.com/post/153079

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