EDIT If what I am asking is not clear, read the top comment answer below.

I was depressed. I'm out or about to be out. To live a real life, instead of an artificial life, I quit porn, fapping, excessive internet/food/movies usage. I actually did it. When I'm accepting the idea of hard work and prepare myself for pain, somehow life gives me what I want. Opportunities fall into my lap.

I'm 23. I've always pushed people away from getting close to me including women. Lately, I am also being more accepting of people and I am learning that people can be great. I'm feeling ready to accept a girl into my life to some extent. Currently my mood is good, I feel strong, hopeful, positive. I am viewing and appreciating my strong qualities, capabilities and will. I've been observing my own life, experiences, my parents, their parents, and their parents, and I conclude that I am exceptionally capable. I don't have to rank this or that to attract a woman I would like. I believe that because it is what I see. Anyway, things are going good, I can control my thoughts better, I have a good place. My next step is have a girl near me on my bed. I don't want to intend to have sex while inviting a girl to my place. I want her femininity. I want to explore her. If it leads to somewhere, good, if not good. Blue balls, rejections, hell nos are growth for me.

I don't want to hire a high class escort and get the GF experience because that would be like porn, illusion, artificial. That's how I lived my life and it sucks. I want the real stuff. I just want to explore a girl and experience how it is like, before even sex.

How should I set up the context? Can you give me some ideas? I don't want to follow the typical TRP advice. My goal is NOT getting my dick wet by all means necessary. My goal is what I wrote above.