GF mentions getting with other guys as a "Joke"?

SlippyToadsWildRide · 2016-04-30T14:13:16+00:00

Whenever my LTR makes jokes like these (which is almost never anymore), I always say something along the lines of "Go for it, I'll just get a new girlfriend", like it's no big deal (because it isn't). I say it half-jokingly (like she does), and every time, she immediately backpedals and gets more affectionate with me.

The thing is though, you have to appear completely serious when you say that. If you even display a hint of insecurity, or that she got to you, she'll see right through it.

With me, it's easy, because I don't just "appear" serious, I am and she knows it. It's all about abundance mentality and passive dread.

Put it this way: if you knew for certain that 5 other women would fuck you at the drop of a hat (aka 1 text), or that you could easy go onto Tinder/Bumble/whatever and find a chick to bang that same day or two with no problem, and your GF knows you're able to do that, how would you reply when she "jokes" about fucking other dudes? "Ok, have fun, your loss! I'll find someone else!" Because you KNOW you can, and when you know it, it comes across in your behavior, which she picks up on.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-04-30T15:13:56+00:00

If everytime a woman says stupid shit you get angry... you're going to have a bad time.

Learn to not give a fuck about the world, I guarantee it cares little for you

chief_slap_ahoe · 2016-04-30T13:36:22+00:00

The same joke over and over is not a joke. Its the truth of what she wants

MattyAnon · 2016-04-30T14:11:33+00:00

It's not a joke. The "joke" bit means "I do not take responsibility for my words".

It's not a shit test. She is thinking aloud and testing the waters with you, to see if you'll take it.

d he mentions opening yourself up and mentioning when things make you angry.

Don't get angry.

A simple "don't do that" should be enough. And a comedy "if you do that, I'll dump your ass so fast you'll wake up with your head spinning. joke.". (do not smile at all, not even a tiny bit).

Ideally you have no emotional reaction, but you also LAY DOWN SOME FUCKING BOUNDARIES. Don't take unreactivity to the point of passiveness (beginner mistake).

Thoughts on what causes her to say these sorts of things

lack of boundaries with you, testing the waters.

tino125 · 2016-04-30T15:36:43+00:00

First of all, I would next the fuck out of any girl who said something like that to me. If you're with me you're with me, and you're going to respect me enough to not say anything about other men (and if you want them in the first place, I am failing at my job.)

I would go with a completely cool and calm response - "Then you should go do that." with a smirk. Make sure she knows it doesn't phase you in the least.

Vodonik · 2016-04-30T18:21:19+00:00

"Go do that and don't come back".

anon_throwaway0 · 2016-04-30T19:03:54+00:00

I say this to my gf all the time as a joke to play with her...she has never once responded with a similar remark or joke..your girl isn't joking.

Train33 · 2016-04-30T12:40:30+00:00

The thing about "jokes" that make them funny id the element of truth to them. So, in your case, your girl DOES want to try these things but is camouflaging them as a joke for plausible deniability.

Call her out.

"I know you're serious." Leave it at that. Ignore her hamster because it will be spinning at 100 mph at this point in an attempt to retract her statements. Stick to your gut.

I'm going to assume you are young. It's up to you what you want to do at this point really. If agreeing to her fantasies compromises your morals and beliefs in what a partnership is then do what you feel you should do as a man. If not then that's cool too, have fun.

DavidEdwardsUK · 2016-04-30T12:59:32+00:00

Okay a few things.

1) I don't think she's totally joking. Take it seriously. But also you have to be mature about the extent to how much she may want these things. For example,I'm sure 99% of men want to have a 3some,but I wouldn't want it anywhere near enough to jeopardise a relationship because it's actually pretty insignificant. You know her better than I do.

2) Do NOT let her know it bothers you. Your response should be that of someone with nothing to lose. Don't let her control you. You have to have the attitude that's 'Okay bitch, you go try that and I'll stick to fucking a different hot woman every week' which will be hard as her saying these things clearly hits an insecurity. Don't let he control you.

She will smell blood and you'll be seen as beta if you're worried about other guys. You should be the BEST man in the world, and she better watch her mouth before she fucks it up and loses you.

_briann · 2016-04-30T16:02:19+00:00

Just tell her that everybody has got fantasies and cue her in on some of yours.. It will level the playing field and show her you plan on crossing some of these items off your list as well. Imagination dread

sjdfhskdjfh · 2016-04-30T22:26:31+00:00

I ex jokingly texted me asking if she could cheat on me with some cute guys during a bachelorette party. I broke up with her the next day.

Spidertech500 · 2016-04-30T19:20:08+00:00

Let her know how much you've always wanted to bang a redhead, you hear they're crazy in bed.

getRedPill · 2016-05-01T04:39:00+00:00

Women don't joke, they warn you. If it hurts your self steem (which there's nothing bad about it) then look for another girl and downgrade her to plate, or leave her completely

play_time_is_over · 2016-05-01T05:21:47+00:00

Well this is what I would say to my gf (and in some cases have)

Marrying a rich business man

Good idea - you'd probably have to move to California to find one though

Wanting to try black cock before she dies (bucket list)

Eww gross you want a nigger dick? (I'd probably break up with her just on principal - all girls know white dick is better, you want the poo stick you can have it)

Having a dream about getting with other guys while away on holiday and me being okay as I "know she has needs"

"Oh yea what type of guys would you get with?"

"Oh so lack jack? Or that Gordon guy? Haha nice, ill see if they are interested."

This is an example of her bluff backfiring like crazy. My gf very rarey will say "oh that guy is cute" then I ask "oh yea you like him? Ill go see if he's interested" then shes like "nononono!!! Im just kiddong omg dont!!!!" Mainly because it's funny but it also shows there's consequences.

You should encourage your gf to cheat - when she does drol her hard guilt free.

bboiabb · 2016-04-30T15:35:37+00:00

Call her out on it. "You'd like to fuck a black guy? Sure lets break up so you can go do that"

Don't even act like you care.. Remember she's just yours for now

keepmymangoqueen · 2016-04-30T23:39:06+00:00

Really depends on the dynamic of the relationship.

However a likely reason to do this is to see you break frame, which you must routinely be doing when she does this. It's her power switch over you.

Even though I'm seeing a girl that does this as a joke, sometimes she does it too much where it gets a little repetitive. I just ignore it and she gets the point.

c2wAccount · 2016-05-01T00:29:16+00:00

I would say it's time to get a side girl. Maybe even not try too hard to hide it.

If you are focused on your direction comments like these (joking or not) are irrelevant and take up more mind space than they are worth.

bumbuff · 2016-05-01T02:39:22+00:00

Seems like a shit test.

She's trying to see how low on the beta chain you link in.

REVERSE and amplify. And follow through with looking for a side chick.

play_time_is_over · 2016-05-01T03:20:03+00:00

Its just a shit test.

"Oh you want a rich guy? How about that samuel guy? He seems loaded."

Honestly you should be testing your gf and putting her in situations where she can cheat - the sooner she cheats on you the sooner you know she's another worthless vagina.

AZTRP · 2016-05-01T05:10:49+00:00

WTF is going on in this thread?

OP, /u/play_time_is_over called it what it was, a shit test; and /u/bumbuff has the best answer so far: REVERSE and amplify.

Some examples of flipping the script that come mind (if you don't give a shit about her feelings at this point, imagine saying these in good humor with DGAF attitude):

Wants to marry a rich man: "Oh that sounds like a great plan! Are we talking about a shotgun wedding?" (or whatever the equivalent is of a forced marriage is in your part of the world, reminding her of her lower value)
Wants to try black cock: "Ha! That's original! I gotta better idea, why don't we find a black tranny with decent tits that can suck my dick at the same time and it won't be weird?" (this is over the top weird but works well if your delivery is on point).
"know she has needs": confused or disappointing look "I think the pharmacy mixed up your meds again."

She'll either realize she's being dumb and shutup, continue the joke, or get butthurt. It doesn't matter. There's plenty of fish. Go catch some more before this one stinks the place up.

anotherswingingdick · 2016-05-01T07:05:37+00:00

it's a real bucket list. Nothing you can do or say, will change it - only her realization that she needs to hide it better.

Downgrade her immediately to fuckbuddy. Start withdrawing all financial and emotional support.

Overzealous_BlackGuy · 2016-04-30T17:08:19+00:00

Someone else made a good point,

There is some slight truth to things said in jest. But I also want to fuck my girlfriend's recruiter. Does it mean im going to take a stab at it? No.

With that being said, you cant stop somebody from cheating or even predict it, so the best you can do is just work with what you have.

Ignore it, joke with her; "you must be catching a case of jungle fever. What ? Did you download a new 50 cent album?"

" youre a little rough on the edges, but with some extra makeup you can probably snag a guy who owns a mcdonalds."

railatx · 2016-04-30T14:11:58+00:00

If she has any friends, try and fuck them now.

nathanisfat · 2016-04-30T13:55:29+00:00

"don't do that"

"are you jealous?"

"no. disgusted."

50pluspiller · 2016-04-30T13:14:37+00:00

I always say, there is truth in humor. She wants to fuck others so your SMV is not high.

Your answer :

Really?! Okay, good. You know (name of hot girl she knows)? We've been wanting to fuck bad, so I guess now is a good time.

Then walk away and go radio silent.

Downgrade to plate at best.

Now start lifting harder, and spin plates.

Title	GF mentions getting with other guys as a "Joke"?
Author	Manima1
Upvotes	26
Comments	46
Date	April 30, 2016 12:05 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4h47k3/gf_mentions_getting_with_other_guys_as_a_joke/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/gf-mentions-getting-with-other-guys-as-a-joke.104752 https://theredarchive.com/post/104752

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