Girls and trips

-HeartOfDark- · 2017-08-10T05:07:46+00:00

There's a lot of insecure guys on here. One of the things TRP preaches is stoicism, yet most of these guys are the complete opposite of stoic. My girlfriend is on vacation right now. Has been for a little under two weeks. She planned it before we met. So what could I have done? Tell her if she goes we're done? Nah, that's immature as fuck and controlling. What did I do instead? Told her to have a great time. She's been texting me constantly, sending pictures, calling me on whatsapp video. Overall I don't feel like anything has changed. She's on vacation and so am I in a sense.

I'm not worried one bit if she were to cheat on me. Because I'm not insecure. If she did then I would deal with it, but there's no point in bothering yourself with shit that's out of your control.

Maybe it's different if you're not committed to one another but imo you have to let people do their thing. If she wants to cheat she could easily do it at the club down the street, so why be worried about her going on a trip? That just shows insecurity on your part and honestly it's not even worth thinking about.

nabosch · 2017-08-10T02:12:12+00:00

She's gonna be "doing what she wanna do" with someone else's cock in her mouth. But for real do your own thing, if it's a plate who cares, if it's an LTR hopefully you've set the boundaries with going on a trip without you outside of them.

failingtheturingtest · 2017-08-10T04:54:57+00:00

TL;DR You think a sheila is a 10. You haven't fucked but "both totally want to". She's going on a trip with another dude. You're already forgiving her for fucking him.

Good luck.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-08-10T04:40:42+00:00

Nobody cares if a plate goes on a trip with girl friends. You're just non exclusive sex partners so what she does shouldn't concern you. What people care about is their girlfriend going on a trip with 3 of her girl friends without them being there. Women unsupervised are whores. Away from judging eyes and recognisable faces, they're free to unleash their inner sluts. They will all cover for each other, none of them cheated, they only went sightseeing and had margaritas at the hotel bar.

People are free to do what they want. But when you're in a committed relationship there are things you just can't do out of respect for your commitment and your partner. It's not that hard to understand. You have to make certain compromises.

If you haven't fucked the girl in question, she doesnt owe you shit. If she's going on a trip with another guy, they're most likely fucking. You're her orbiter. You're overly attached before even having had sex with her.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-08-10T09:23:34+00:00

So here's why guys get bothered by girls going on trips:

A. Girls have automatic dread. If a girl goes out to a club she has a 100% option of getting laid. Maybe not with the guy she wants, but if she wants dick she can get dick.

B. Guys think of LTRs as an "end point", i.e. "Now I can stop 'competing' for pussy." This isn't so. If anything guys can develop a mindset of having to "defend the castle" as it were. This is why we call marriage or LTRs "Red Pill on Hard Mode."

C. If you have abundance, you won't care about girls taking trips or whatever. Spin multiple plates or have multiple open (on your end) LTRs. That way, you are never faced with having 100% of your pussy supply walking out the door and having to go out and start from scratch. Or, as a wise man once wrote: The problem is, for men, more is better. If you commit to one woman, then you risk ONE WOMAN deciding if you are having sex on any given night and ONE WOMAN can walk out the door with 100% of your pussy supply. That makes guys crazy and more willing to put up with ONE WOMAN’S crap, and leads to unhappiness and, in extreme cases, being the back half of a murder-suicide.

Put another way, do you want to be this guy who is blowing up a stranger's phone to confirm his slut-wife's alibi? No, you do not. Multiple girls prevents that shit.

D. Guys need to decide what is a deal-breaker for them and what isn't. For me travel is more situational. I have told this story on TRP before and I will repeat it, now: One of my girls (OLTR#1) went away for a couple of weeks with her extended family (mother, little brother, both grandmothers, aunt and aunt's daughter; her dad was working but would spend a few days with them), on a winter break holiday. Am I going to tell her that she can't go? No, I'm not. And I'm not going to dump her for it, either. The LTR is open on my end, and I know she spent a good chunk of her time looking after her niece (age 10) and her brother (age 3).

Also, a couple of years ago, when she was 19 and before we were exclusive (on her end) she went on a spring break trip with three of her girlfriends (one of whom I know; she's cool, but if I were her BF I wouldn't trust her on spring break). I was a bit surprised that she went, or that her parents permitted it (they were pretty strict, without being dicks about it), but I adopted a "wait and see" attitude.

Within 24 hours, I started getting the "911" texts - "They're bringing boys back to the room!" So I told her to have her shit packed and ready for me to pick her up at such and such a time the next afternoon, then I hopped a flight, extracted her, and then we de-camped to a "grown-ups" hotel in the same city - I have a job I can do from anywhere that I have wifi and mobile coverage. So she would meet her friends during the day and have some fun in the sun, and then she'd come back to me around dinner time, for the rest of the evening.

Her parents, who on the one hand like me, and respect me as a solid guy, but, OTOH, don't like the fact that I'm boning their daughter, were actually pretty relieved, because at least I'm a "Known Guy", and the fact that I went down and handled the situation gave me even more street cred with them.

So a couple of thoughts: first, she was 19 then, and now at 21 she would know not to put herself in that situation. So it was a learning experience. Second, recognizing what was up, she made the right decision, and reached out to me.

b1g_g3r · 2017-08-10T06:21:00+00:00

No fucks should be given if it's a plate. In consideration to promote that plate someday, this is still a red flag.

If a plate cancels her booking, because she thinks it's inappropriate and she rather wants to be with me, that is a green flag.

You've been spinning two (or more) plates for a minimum of 6 months. If all facts (sex, looks, character, whatever) are similar and both girls consider traveling. Plate A decides to do so, plate B doesn't want without you and cancels the booking on her own without dread used. Which girl would you promote more easily?

In regards to beeing emotionally invested in your LTR, it's not about worrying that she might cheat. Already stated: you can't control that.

BUT:

"Watch her actions, not her words". She chooses the single-life. Every person is free to do that but in a LTR, this is a self-demoting maneuver. Whats the point then in beeing in a LTR anyway?

If I am on vacation and stumble on a girl which travels without her boy, what signal does this give to me? Wouldn't you try to fuck her and consider this to be easier than at home because of the vacation-feeling? It's like going to the club. Is my girl that irresponsible and am I that stupid?

She should know that on herself. If not, why the fuck did I even promote her?

How is it possible to upgrade her to a girlfriend, knowing that she booked a vacation without you? What was her reason for the vacation as she was booking it?

brinkleybuzz · 2017-08-10T12:55:39+00:00

So a girl who you put on a pedestal (no such thing as a 10) and you haven't had sex with (which means she's not really a plate) goes on a trip with another dude.

The problem isn't her trip. The real problem is you're an orbiter with oneitis.

Title	Girls and trips
Author	haircutssuk
Upvotes	4
Comments	35
Date	August 10, 2017 1:34 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6sq40q/girls_and_trips/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girls-and-trips.95601 https://theredarchive.com/post/95601

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