'Give her your jacket' - 'No'

_valtiel_ · 2014-11-09T19:12:47+00:00

I've had that "chivalry" line used on me before. "You should do x for this other woman, that's chivalrous". My response was a horse laugh followed by teasing: "Chivalry? That's when she puts her jacket down in a puddle so I can walk across it, right? No? Oh, do you want to put your jacket down instead?"

I'm not her subordinate for her to shame me for not being a gentleman.

Exactly right.

SirBootyLove · 2014-11-09T22:02:45+00:00

I'd let a girl wear my jacket during the cold months if during the warm months I put anything I don't want to carry around into her purse.

Otherwise no deal.

favours_of_the_moon · 2014-11-09T20:07:12+00:00

keep a spare wool overcoat in your car.

oldredder · 2014-11-09T20:51:43+00:00

Ya, this happened in the line-up at Halloween to the bars, girls shivering. They can look cute huddling with each other or they can come cuddle with me in my jacket while I'm wearing it.

Men own their right to keep warm bringing their own coats. Girls want to sacrifice comfort for appearance, they pay the price, including begging us for warmth.

Don't like it, don't choose that way next time. But they love it because validating the Hamster is her primary goal, more even than retaining body heat in -5 C (23 F) temperature.

You did it right & if all men stick to this then all women will realize they put themselves in a place to beg for our help and we didn't make it so - just because we are able to help. We're not obligated but a simple request would be a good start to getting something she wants from one of us men.

I didn't make her go outside in the winter cold dressed like it was the hottest summer day, in the middle of the night, now did I? NO, she made that choice. It's on her, not on me.

Goldfulgore · 2014-11-09T19:48:45+00:00

I wouldn't have given my jacket.

reddishman · 2014-11-09T21:13:04+00:00

I would have said, "say the magic words"

Her: give her your jacket... Paleeez !!!

Me: No (wink and laugh)

Hold the other girl in your arms and give her the jacket. Or isolate with I might have something in my car for you.

-robknows- · 2014-11-09T19:54:57+00:00

I wouldn't even have given it the second time, I'd have laughed and said they should've thought about it like me. Important to make sure it's a light-hearted refusal rather than a mean refusal, because I could give up my jacket and be alright, so refusal that doesn't come across jokey and difficult to shame is mean looking.

alreadyredschool · 2014-11-10T09:39:01+00:00

Later on Charlotte asks me for it and I give it to her.

You should have made her buy you a drink for that later. Always demand something in return.

_valtiel_ · 2014-11-09T18:31:23+00:00

I think its good.

Not what I would have done. But I think your way is better.

LeggyBlueEyes · 2014-11-09T22:27:59+00:00

I would only hope for a jacket offer from my SO, and even then only really if the chill was unexpected. I'm a grown woman and hold myself responsible for making sure I'm properly clothed. That being said, my then SO would always make an effort to find a coat check or otherwise assist me with my coat. I think he 1) appreciated that I took care of my own needs and 2) wanted to show me off in my cute outfit so the coat had to come off!

cheekybarstard · 2014-11-10T04:33:53+00:00

Like someone else has mentioned, but with a twist. Keep a old hoodie in your car. It'll be uniquely yours, and she might even like wearing a bit of 'you'. So, keep your jacket, give her the hoodie 😄

fnordsnord · 2014-11-10T21:53:20+00:00

Heh. My wife never wears a jacket because she can't be arsed to keep track of it. When I realized that, she quit getting mine.

ArcadeGoon · 2014-11-10T04:28:18+00:00

So instead of telling her no, you gave it to her, said nothing. Then come here to cry?

Title	'Give her your jacket' - 'No'
Author	let_terror_reign
Upvotes	46
Comments	39
Date	November 9, 2014 6:23 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2ls3q8/give_her_your_jacket_no/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/give-her-your-jacket-no.36 https://theredarchive.com/post/36

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