Has being Dom ever gone wrong?

machimus · 2015-12-24T18:59:20+00:00

I'm just going to ask it: are you considering being a Dom because being a NiceGuy isn't working and now you're desperate?

If so, you don't have to go from one extreme to another.

[deleted] · 2015-12-24T17:52:22+00:00

Naturally you can be "too" anything, but you'll find that most women are looking for a man to be at least moderately dominant in bed.

To be clear I mean "moderately" in the sense that they would still define you as dominant, but it's still something you can totally overdo.

joyrider5 · 2015-12-24T23:00:05+00:00

Me and a good plate broke up recently. She didn't like me choking her. She told me 3x, the third she wanted to talk about how I'm disrespectful in bed. I told her that I'm the boss and I'll listen to what she has to say but I'll do what I want with her. She wanted to keep talking about it so I left her house. Next day we talk on phone and she says have I changed my mind I said no she said she doesn't want to see me anymore I said fine with me. Haven't seen her since.

In retrospect, I was not being reasonable or fair to her. I went too far on the Dom side and it was uncomfortable for her. She was a good girl who didn't cause a lot of problems or shit test me much, she probably just didn't want to be choked.

So I learned a lesson from that. I think it's good to go too far to each extreme so that you can real world experience about finding that balance. But it always sucks to break a plate. Being willing to break them is important (no fear).

The hindsight is real. At the time I was reading a lot of TRP and I was adopting the mindset and over compensating for my past without finding the balance. I was so sure at the time that I was being so cool. Reality is, I was still finding myself.

ComplementaryColour · 2015-12-24T21:17:12+00:00

Yea 19 y/o girl 2 months ago didnt like it. It made her uncomfortable. Fair enough i should have toned it down. She didnt tell me it was bad but she asked me. "You like to be dominant right?" That should be obvious. But youll get it from girls with little experience.

sadnesspickle · 2015-12-24T21:58:26+00:00

You can be "dominant" while still being a nice guy and attentive.

I am currently sleeping with a guy who is like this. I am pretty dominant in bed, but this guy is straight up Putin level dominant which is a new thing for me.

However, rather than getting himself off first and ignoring me, he basically tells me how he is going to get me off and pretty much removes my choice in the matter (not my choice in consent, there was one situation where I flat out said "No" and he stopped immediately and went to something else)

Funniest part: Me: "omg, cumming, etc", Him: "No, I think you're a liar", then turned me over, spanked me a few times, then went down on me.

I thought it was very nice of him.

Title	Has being Dom ever gone wrong?
Author	daddymonsterpoodle
Upvotes	7
Comments	9
Date	December 24, 2015 5:43 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3y3mb0/has_being_dom_ever_gone_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/has-being-dom-ever-gone-wrong.158303 https://theredarchive.com/post/158303

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