How do i become confident?

CrimsonCapsule · 2014-03-28T13:46:51+00:00

Confidence comes from passing tests in life — making effort, taking risks and seeing positive results.

Start small. Lift, get up a little earlier, trade some vidya time for some solid reading. Those little successes will help give you the confidence you need to pass larger tests.

JohnnyChuttz · 2014-03-28T14:41:11+00:00

Fake it 'till you make it.

vox_veritas · 2014-03-28T14:55:05+00:00

Self-control breeds confidence. When you know (not just pretend) that you are the one in control of your own life, the choices you make, and are able to show that control by your daily actions, confidence will flow freely. You need a reason to be confident. You don't just become confident out of whole cloth.

[deleted] · 2014-03-28T16:14:46+00:00

basically you need to find a few "pillars" that will "lift you up". You can't just be confident without this. You need something that gives you confidence.

Looks? money? success despite shitty odds? When you are feeling down you can look back and see something real and positive that has happened because of you.

Whatever it may be it will give you a small boost. You do this over and over and you build yourself. Remember, doing this is like fighting gravity. Shit will always keep you down.

RedPilkington · 2014-03-28T17:31:32+00:00

We've all heard fake it till you make it, but thats a hard road to follow. Some of us are just not good actors.

Obviously the best thing to boost confidence it winning. Winning fixes a lot of problems. Its also hard. Its unrealistic to tell you to put off approaching women until you've hit the gym, gotten a good paying job, and feel successful. You'll need all that, but it will take time, and you still need to keep at your game while you sort out the rest of your life.

I suggest failing. No really, go out there and a bomb out if you must. Approach a girl with all your quivering beta insecurity tamped down for just a moment and talk to her with as little waver in your voice as you can. If you're really as bad as you say you are you may fail. But You'll live. failure hurts, but not that bad. Once you're not afraid of the pain of failure you can have real confidence.

Lastly, I suggest you limit your alcohol during times when you are approaching. Two or three beers over the course of the night should be enough to lower your inhibition, but you've got to not get stupid. The more sober you are the more control you have over yourself and drunk chicks.

Enphuego · 2014-03-28T22:45:24+00:00

not doing anything with my life right now just waiting

There's your number one problem. Start working on something, anything just don't drift through life expecting it to turn out well.

A retired Colonel from the Marines once gave me some great advice: "Be proud of the job you do, and do a job that you can be proud of."

Hitting the gym and mastering your diet would be a good place to start. Build small successes, keep at it and let them snowball into success. At some point you'll wake up one day realize that your life is fucking awesome.

boydeer · 2014-03-29T14:14:51+00:00

make rules for yourself that you follow, such as:

do stuff you said you were going to do (go to the gym, give someone a ride, leave a party) even if you don't feel like it and even if the commitment was only to yourself.
don't text when drunk, fuckface. don't do it. definitely don't initiate any text conversation while drunk.
have projects you can be passionate about for yourself or for your community. prioritize these above the pursuit of women.

also, use your judgment. if you think something is true, make a conscious decision to trust your judgment. if you are wrong, be aware that you made an erroneous observation, and refine your judgment. you cannot refine your judgment unless you use it. you will soon have very good judgment, which will give you confidence.

Title	How do i become confident?
Author	Arnfried
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	March 28, 2014 1:42 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/21lai6/how_do_i_become_confident/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-become-confident.139204 https://theredarchive.com/post/139204

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