I’m ALWAYS looking at the negative side of shit. It’s honestly driving me fucking insane.

Few months ago I get into a relationship. I forget all the positive things I had and just think “fuck I’m spending all this time with her while there’s all this other shit I could be doing”.

Then I cheat, start fucking around with loads of girls and now I think “fuck I miss having morning sex, breakfast in bed before lectures, cuddles. This is shit”.

I become friends with this guy because I admire what he does and stands for. He’s into fitness, does boxing and we get on. Now we’re friends and the only fucking thing I can focus on is the shit I don’t like about him. “Damn his reactions to some things I say are so autistic. Why can’t he just be more relaxed. I hate how he’s simping over this 6/10.”

The list goes on. This shit is the same with every fucking friend I have, every fucking thing I do every day whether it’s work or lifting. I even hate myself a lot of the time because I don’t measure up to the expectations I have in my head. I hate when people are being themselves because I feel like they should be doing some service to society or someone instead of pursuing personal shit.

How the fuck do I stop hating everything and being so negative? It’s not even red pill rage, I’ve been on this shit for over a year.