How do i stop wanting to find someone while in monk mode so that i can work out my sh!t.

HamsterTerrorist · 2015-12-01T12:47:01+00:00

The need for validation that you are seeking, in my experience, could not be turned off just like a switch. You are human just like everyone else, its one of your social needs. The only thing that helped me, is patience. Keep on improving, lifting, reading and whatever needs to be done to reach your goals, and people around will notice your increased value and validate you for free. Keep on brother.

smokingmonkey420 · 2015-12-01T12:51:12+00:00

You just do it.

Quarter_Century_Club · 2015-12-01T14:00:15+00:00

Did you already read this this?

plein_old · 2015-12-01T16:34:28+00:00

Make friends with bros, dudes, men. Guys with some sort of integrity and a sense of humor.

Women can't actually give you the kind of validation that you crave. Believe it or not, this is absolutely true. Being with a woman should be like drinking a glass of refreshing water on a hot day. That's it! lol. All the neediness men have comes from other parts of their lives being empty. Like spiritually, maybe. I mean, maybe they don't call it "monk" mode for nothing.

sodainthewatercup6 · 2015-12-01T16:50:49+00:00

This is the most important time to be in monk mode. It's a feeling you need to learn how to defeat and control. You'll come out much stronger on the other side.

It's something only you can figure out on your own.

Borsao66 · 2015-12-01T17:12:39+00:00

I saw a quote in here a couple of weeks ago that really hit me hard. Its what keeps me in the gym daily.

Discipline is more important than motivation.

You may be indeed motivated to build your garden (raising your SMV). But continuing to work on your garden and keeping rabbits out until it's finished is DISCIPLINE.

srqrox · 2015-12-01T14:04:04+00:00

Strive to be better and focus on the outcome.

That's pretty much the only way that helped me. I went monk for a while, I have some serious catching up to do with things in my own life, had to reconnect to my roots.

Desire to be loved, praised and needed can never be turned off, but if you keep striving and imagine how awesome you'd look when you come out from behind a curtain would help you keep going and yes, you'll actually feel all those things when you exit the monk mode because of the constant improvements you'd have made.

HellhoundsOnMyTrail · 2015-12-01T15:43:50+00:00

Meditation. When you have the proper training in meditation you learn to observe sensations. Including, but certainly not limited to, the sensation of desire for the opposite sex. It's a very clear and strong desire. When you run from it, it gets stronger and persists. If you maintain awareness and breathe through it, like your training teaches you, you watch how it will arise and then fall away like all sensations do. There's a reason why monks spend a good amount of their time in meditation/prayer.

Title	How do i stop wanting to find someone while in monk mode so that i can work out my sh!t.
Author	Worldmap77
Upvotes	10
Comments	13
Date	December 1, 2015 12:38 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3uzopr/how_do_i_stop_wanting_to_find_someone_while_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-stop-wanting-to-find-someone-while-in.157236 https://theredarchive.com/post/157236

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