How do you handle confrontations?

penguin_says_slide · 2015-03-18T00:34:47+00:00

Him : You're racist!

Smile and walk away.

DO NOT get into an argument.

I went up to this stand as they had free candy...getting closer, I saw they were the Feminist Club asking people to sign a petition to Stop sexual harassment on campus! I quickly turned around to leave.

One of the girls : What's wrong sir? Do you support sexual harassment?

I said nothing, just smiled and walked away. That was the end of it.

AZTRP · 2015-03-18T00:41:29+00:00

Sooooo I never dealt with homeless beggars nearly enough until I met my wife. Her office has a bar on the street and the homeless just walk right the fuck up, look at your table and ask you for shit (money, cigarettes).

You had it right up to a point, but the part where my wife is more alpha begins with skin color having no bearing (spot on BTW) she ends that with "and if you say one more fucking thing I'm calling the cops"

Use your tools. It's just a bum and they're more afraid of the police then you.

also don't fight bums. What kind of impression are you trying to make?

T_H_E_T_R_U_T_H · 2015-03-18T01:50:52+00:00

Just ignore homeless people

BPtoRP · 2015-03-18T04:56:03+00:00

About a week ago, I was walking with a plate in a subway station and a homeless guy stared at me. Having gotten used to not breaking eye contact, I kept staring right in his eyes as we walked past him. Right as I'm passing him, he tries to startle me by jumping extending his hand infront of me and shouting, like how you hid in a closet and startled your brother when you were young. I was surprised myself at how I never flinched, just kept walking without any interruption in my body language or eyesight. Plate was impressed, all thanks to meeting shits like these every day in a big city and probably all the meditation I do.

In a nutshell, you'll get used to it. Your brain stops registering any kind of stimulus from them.

Chaohinon · 2015-03-18T06:22:17+00:00

Yeah, dealing with career-homeless people like that is like dealing with trolls on the internet. Just avoid arguing, let them spew a bunch of shit, and 9 out of 10 onlookers will sympathize with you. The real confrontation comes when you meet one of these guys in a dark alley at 3am. Out in daylight with other people around, they don't mean shit.

At the same time, I think it's helpful to just get out there in the city wilderness and learn to read the different "types" of homeless people. You have your dudes who are legitimately down on their luck and/or obviously mentally handicapped. The former I look dead in the eye and say, "Sorry man, don't have any cash on me," and they understand most of the time. The latter I save what change I might have for. If the guy isn't being aggressive or in your face, he probably falls into this general category.

Then you have your loud, aggressive crazies/drug fiends, and as a general rule the louder they bark the less they actually bite. The thing about this type is that they're much more professional and calculated than they might seem. They're out there on the streets, every day, and have put a lot of "working hours" into learning how to read body language, and who will get them their most bang-for-their-buck. I hate to say it, but you were chosen for a reason, and responded in kind. Been there; moving to the big city when I was 20 forced me to go from being shy and not knowing how to deal with this shit to learning how to just pull my shoulders back and walk on by like nothing is happening. It's seriously like playing peek-a-boo with a baby; if your body language is right, their intuitive sense of $$$ versus effort will kick in and suddenly it's like you don't exist.

As far as being "trapped" in a patio type setting, that can be tricky, and I haven't run into it much. I've mainly settled for flat out ignoring their existence, which works if they're not the aggressive type. For him, I like to think I would've just said, "no", and then given him a dead-eyed stare until he went away (no further responses, just Mike Tyson his insults until he's forced to take a knee). No guarantee that would work, but I've managed to pull it off in more serious situations, so it could be worth a shot. Also, when in a sitting position, I've found it really helps to assume the, "I don't give a fuck" posture (shoulders back, hands behind your head, legs either spread way out or propped up, relaxed but not too slouchy) no matter how anxious I'm feeling. I don't really know how, but this seems to diffuse aggression really well.

Sorry for the long post, just a lot of things I can relate to that I've had to learn the hard way.

leftajar · 2015-03-18T06:32:32+00:00

Should I have asked him to step outside, or said shit back to him when he was calling me out?

Does James Bond fight the bum? No. It's a waste of time and energy, and would fuck up his suit.

He would look, instantly recognize the lack of threat, and instantly move on to something more important.

The #1 go-to response for blatant disrespect is to ignore the person. Don't look at them, don't talk to them, just delete them from reality and move on.

daswareinbefehl · 2015-03-18T09:39:20+00:00

He then started saying that I was a white piece of shit.

Das waysiss!

C00l_Guy · 2015-03-18T01:57:06+00:00

You make shooing sound like it's a dog.

Edit: What kind of shit-faggot restaurant lets homeless people harass customers? I'd leave without paying my bill.

Title	How do you handle confrontations?
Author	DrRehabMonsterReborn
Upvotes	11
Comments	10
Date	March 18, 2015 12:20 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2zewny/how_do_you_handle_confrontations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-handle-confrontations.147091 https://theredarchive.com/post/147091

Comments

DO NOT get into an argument.