How do you maintain frame when there is a man with you and your plate that is better than you?

look4wolfpack · 2016-07-23T14:59:22+00:00

No man is better than me. You have to dissect the underlying meaning of what you say. "Navy Seal" doesn't make him better than you. It makes people THINK he's better than you. The truth is the term better is subjective. Society tries to standardize these things, but all they're really illuminating is the fact that they're instinctively attracted to certain symbols and romanticisms. Why did you choose the Navy Seal example? Because it's ingrained into your head that a Navy Seal is the pinnacle of manliness. Why? Do you know how many MMA fighters could slap a Navy seal like he was a chump with no training? Navy Seals don't spend 1/2 the amount of time training hand to hand combat that an MMA fighter does. What about athleticism? Do you think a Navy Seal can outrun a marathon runner? Can jump higher than an NBA player? Can he write a sonnet, program a computer, double his investment in the stock market? I'm pulling the mytho-poetic image apart with a purpose. A Navy Seal isn't a person, it's an idol. We look up to them because they protect us, and therefore they take on a fatherly role toward society. The father figure is the one who maintains control. When things get chaotic, scary, confusing, or dangerous, everyone looks to the father figure, because he maintains his calm, he maintains control, and he knows what to do. Right? Except none of us, not even a Navy Seal, are always calm, always in control, and always know what to do.

You can not control the outside world, no matter how powerful you are, you will always be swept away by the flood of life and left splashing helplessly for air. The only difference between you and that Navy Seal is that he believes he's been trained to handle life, and you agree with him, but you don't believe that about yourself.

Somewhere in the world there is always a "better man," and always will be. Someone more capable of doing battle with uncertainty. But even he will find himself helpless at some point. What makes a man great is not just his preparation and training, it's his ability to see every challenge as merely that. A challenge. As long as you are always willing to accept the challenge, no man will ever be better than you. The only thing we will ever control, despite the illusions we present to others for their own sense of security, is our attitude.

You said he could kick your ass with 2 fingers, but he didn't have to. He beat you with your own mind, and you did all the work for him.

How would I act around a Navy Seal? Shake his hand firmly, smile genuinely, "Thank you for your service to our country." Treat him like any other man. His balls aren't made of gold. He has a job to do and he does it. Let others romanticize all they want, at the end of the day an alpha will lead a pack of one if he must, but he doesn't stand aside just because the rest of the world says he should.

conotocaurius · 2016-07-23T14:55:53+00:00

Be cool.

If you can interact well or get along with that kind of dude, it can actually be a boost to your own status.

Apexk9 · 2016-07-23T15:53:16+00:00

Most military guys aren't that good in hand to hand combat.

Now a special ops yeah sire bit the average soldier meh.

raisins3142 · 2016-07-23T15:56:01+00:00

Even if it were a LTR or wife, you'd have to recognize this guy is likely generating major tingles in her. Now, what does she do with these is primarily up to her character and your past interactions with her. But he could steal from you most modern women, or make them swoon in front of you so obviously as to suck ass.

So, first I'd recognize that and let go of it. That would be my frame. Don't be a pushover, but realize you are in a crap situation and try to be outcome independent (especially if just a plate).

I had no woman involved, but I was hanging out with an older, more dominant, more handsome guy that is also 5 inches taller than me...just last week. The force of his personality was overwhelming to me. Everything was on his terms and he did not give a fuck. It showed me I have a ways to improve. I don't know if I played it right, but I very purposefully did NOT try to qualify myself to him or compete.

That's my final message: if the situation you described materialzed DO NOT act like a "try hard" by competing with him or trying to win him over. He and the girl will both see it, understand why it is occurring, and it will make the differences between you and he even more stark.

RedDeadCred · 2016-07-23T16:48:56+00:00

For one, start training so you aren't insecure about this guy beating you up. At the least by training and sparring you become desensitized to fighting and stop worrying even when the guy could still kick your ass.

Throwaway244555 · 2016-07-23T16:53:24+00:00

There's always going to be someone better and stronger than you. Always have the mindset you're the best in the world. It's doesn't matter what he does, it's how you react is important.

RedAsBlood · 2016-07-24T14:34:29+00:00

A guy like this could still easily be a total beta around women. I know plenty of guys who are like this - outwardly appear awesome but have no game whatsoever.

Guys like that end up as providers who get cheated on.

Frame and game are king. If you show that it bothers you, then you lose.

One thing that I've learned in life is that there will always be someone who is better than you. There will always be someone who can lift more, someone who has more money, someone who is better at whatever hobby you have. Unless you are literally a professional at whatever at the top of your game, there is someone better.

You need to carry yourself like you are the shit and you don't give a fuck about it.

Even if your girl goes for this dude, it doesn't matter, cause you are the shit man. There tonnes of broads who would love to be with you.

kolluminko · 2016-07-23T14:56:09+00:00

you made that choice that he is better than you. it is not some natural law

Title	How do you maintain frame when there is a man with you and your plate that is better than you?
Author	Success_
Upvotes	0
Comments	15
Date	July 23, 2016 2:36 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4u8g0l/how_do_you_maintain_frame_when_there_is_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-maintain-frame-when-there-is-a-man-with.108737 https://theredarchive.com/post/108737

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