How do you tell the difference between being shit tested and the girl just not wanting you around/disliking you?

Capital_Recognition · 2019-10-18T12:35:17+00:00

If she keeps repeating the same thing, and isn't laughing or smiling, she is probably seriously disinterested. Also, watch her body language.

Think of it like you playing with a small puppy. If they want to play, they will. They may nibble or scratch a little, but that is just them playing. If the puppy moves away from you, or gives you signals showing it doesn't want to play anymore, it means it doesn't want to play anymore.

vandaalen · 2019-10-18T13:09:50+00:00

And I sort had this oneitis for her back then

Yeah, right...

Sounds like you're trying to force you way into her panties by playing a role and are absolutely overdoing it and are probably really just annoying, because you're still directing all your attention to this buttercup, only this time you're also transporting bad energy.

Nobody wants a guy who is harassing people by constantly trying to make jokes on their expenses. Not even women. Apart from coming off as try hard, it's not funny.

Forget this bitch for good and focus on other women. This one is dead from now on.

Also straight out telling you that they think you are an asshole without laughing usually means they feel like that. Remember that women hate overt communication.

Domebeers · 2019-10-18T15:14:03+00:00

Tone and body language matter more than what they say. 'You're annoying' can be good or bad. I've slept with girls who've said it and it's been said seriously as well.

You are too into the girl my friend but that's ok. We're human. Go to the party with her and AMOG the shit out of the guy you think she likes. You may be surprised by the result.

And general tip: Unless you disappeared from this girls life for months and then reappeared, you are going to be fighting an uphill battle in terms of her perception of you. You can reset with a girl, but not if you are present all the time. Probably better to find new prospects than to keep chasing the white whale. There are lots of pretty girls out there, she's not special.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2019-10-18T18:38:47+00:00

Women deliberately avoid interacting or even making eye contact with men they truly dislike. They'll treat you like you're a piece of furniture or a fly buzzing around.

That said, just because they're not bored or irritated by you, doesn't necessarily mean they're interested in fucking you. It just means they think they can get attention,validation or favors from you. That is: Narcissistic Supply.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-10-18T20:32:38+00:00

And I sort had this oneitis for her back then.

Don't try to game girls you had oneitis for. The feelings are still there inside you and she's always going to see you as a beta loser.

We met today and I was with some friends and I wasn't chasing after her just making casual conversation and being fun without taking anything too seriously.

Seems like you were overly focused on her. You were trying too hard by trying not to try too hard.

She kept saying I'm an asshole and that I'm annoying.

Shit testing. You've improved your SMV and she's poking at your frame to see if you've actually become more attractive or if you are just pretending to not be a loser.

When everyone left it was just me and her for a while and after some banter and me joking about her she'd keep telling me I'm annoying or that I should shut up.

Now I don't care about this specific girl. But how do I assess this and learn from this? Were those just shit tests or does she genuinely want me to fuck off?

No one can say for sure if she was trying to suck your dick but I can say that if she really was repulsed by you she could've just left at any time.

When girls are really disinterested in you they'll actually be "nice". They'll care so little for you that they won't even put an effort into shit testing you. They'll treat you the same way they treat the special needs kid on the short bus.

She literally wants me to come to this hangout a couple of friends are having tomorrow. But I feel like she's just shy about meeting this new guy and wants me around to make it less awkward.

Overthinking shit like this is a symptom of oneitis. You most likely still have oneitis and you should read the sidebar.

Also how do you keep your words and in check and not keep talking too much?

Just STFU at all times unless you NEED to say something of value.

Pola_Lita · 2019-10-18T12:47:16+00:00

I don't know a lot about RP yet so I am wondering why you didn't ask her about the way she spoke to you and if she is shy about meeting the new guy. Thanks.

PhaedrusHunt · 2019-10-18T16:22:04+00:00

Okay objectively she's hanging out with you when it's just the two of you and she saying you're annoying but she's not leaving

And she's telling you to come hang out

She's really pretty so she doesn't have to have any type of personality or social skills and she's doing the same thing that she did when she was a little kid except she can't punch you she can just do it verbally now

you need to escalate and make out with this girl the next time you see her otherwise she's just going to wonder why you're not making a move because in her mind she is showing you clearly that she likes you

Good luck report back you've got this go get it

Oh but also don't make her your oneitis again if she starts giving you any crap stops giving you ioi's definitely hit on other girls right in front of her

and if it plays out where she actually IS bringing you around to be an ice break or for the other guy just play it cool man don't worry about nothing. IF SHE SAYS YOUR ANNOYING AGAIN ASK HER WHAT IT IS IT'S MOST ANNOYING AND SAY, WHAT LIKE THIS? AND DO IT A LITTLE MORE. FUCK WITH HER DUDE

Sorry for the caps there goes my phone again

chadchadovsky · 2019-10-18T22:42:02+00:00

Shit tests are supposed to be light, teasing, playful... Only delusional PUAs believe girls seriously disrespect guys they want to fuck. Something like 95% of my bangs came from girls that were VERY receptive/did minimum shit-testing from the beginning.

Don't be autistic, if she shows disinterest EJECT like a rocket and find a girl that will appreciate a high-value guy such as yourself.

Always see yourself as higher value then girl(as you should be) and this won't be an issue.

Jugurthajones87 · 2019-10-18T23:41:04+00:00

Sounds like a shit test to me. I also think she’s calling you an asshole to see if you identify as an asshole or as a nice guy, based on how you respond. When they call you an asshole, it’s almost always a compliment because girls love assholes. Agree and amplify.

In fact, since you already know what she’s going to say, beat her to the punch. Use her past comments when you talk to her next, then they become an in-joke between you. Say you’re talking to her and you crack an assholish joke that she laughs at. Before she can reply, you say, “God, I’m an asshole.” Which will only make her laugh more. When she agrees, shake your head in disbelief and say, “I’m such a dick.”

None of this is to say you should pursue her, because you obviously still have oneitis for her, and shit testing you doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to date you.

kray67 · 2019-10-18T13:03:35+00:00

Actions over words, my friend. From your followup comment I'd say it's a shit test. She keeps saying you're not funny yet she's still giggling and keeps the conversation going.

knachreiner · 2019-10-18T16:01:55+00:00

You’re overthinking it. If she’s laughing while saying those things that’s a positive sign of either friendship or other interest. She may be into the “new you” that isn’t as BP as the old, or she may just be being nice. You’re sitting on the fence of over analysis. Either drop her or pursue her and either way you’ll have a resolution.

Haytch1234 · 2019-10-26T05:15:42+00:00

If she dislikes you she wont even talk to you and tell you to fuck off.

At least with a shit test shes interested enough to actively engage and invest in a conversation with you.

Title	How do you tell the difference between being shit tested and the girl just not wanting you around/disliking you?
Author	ConspiracyPill
Upvotes	7
Comments	22
Date	October 18, 2019 12:16 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/djmnc7/how_do_you_tell_the_difference_between_being_shit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-tell-the-difference-between-being-shit.291530 https://theredarchive.com/post/291530

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