How does one cultivate and maintain confidence?

OccamsUsername · 2014-01-03T00:41:35+00:00

You have a fairly general base of things here, but it seems you're basing your confidence externally and more importantly from moment to moment. If I don't clean promptly or take a break from self improvement for more indulgent or pointlessly entertaining pursuits, I don't feel my confidence slipping. It's been internalized for quite some time.

I'd be curious to know specifically where you think you lack confidence. Your outline is good, but it may as well have been a list of things to act like an adult. These are things that everyone should be doing to live a happy and more fulfilling life.

Was there a point at which you lost confidence in yourself, or had you always struggled with this? Where do women play into this question (or the intent of the question) of yours? People who are naturally confident either overcompensate consistently, or have a successful base of achievements they can be proud of, looking back on their life, but they need not be achieving goals at all times. The act of being successful previously made them internalize that confidence, and it now reflects in their every day life.

An oft quoted idiom around here is "Fake it 'til you make it". Is the execution of outcome independence not helpful for you in your pursuits? Do you fail at achieving something on your radar that's greater? Do you have any mild to clinical issues like anxiety or depression? Do you abuse any controlled substances to what some may consider excess?

With more information, I could provide a better set of opinions for you.

pro-game chemicals.

Hahaha.

[deleted] · 2014-01-03T03:08:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Spiderman48 · 2014-01-04T11:05:35+00:00

Confidence is weird.

I've been told I give off a confident swagger, and that people notice this about me within 30 minutes of being around me, and sometimes immediately. Despite people telling me this, 25-50% of the time I don't feel confident.

My best advice for quick fixes:

-Posture. This is huge, I stretched a lot and fixed this when i was about 16 and the change was immediately noticeable.

-Eye contact. I'm not that great at this, but there have been times when I focused on it and it helps.

-Don't look downward, let your eyes roam, if you make eye contact, let it linger a little longer than normal.

After that, be non-reactive, I try to do this by slowing down my reactions, I wait 2 seconds before talking instead of immediately reacting.

Besides the 2-3 second thing I really don't consciously think about this, yet it's like it's one of my defining characteristics, maybe someone who is more learned could give better advice.

648262 · 2014-01-03T02:22:14+00:00

I would answer your topic question with: Set goals, then reach them.

It's short and sweet and that is the basics of it. But set those goals within a wide variety of subjects.

Title	How does one cultivate and maintain confidence?
Author	Bletz
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	January 3, 2014 12:09 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1u9rnw/how_does_one_cultivate_and_maintain_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-does-one-cultivate-and-maintain-confidence.138705 https://theredarchive.com/post/138705

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