How does you deal with oneitis?

fnordsnord · 2016-12-11T19:11:36+00:00

When I am dealing with a breakup I do two things: First, I take everything that reminds me of her, I pack it in a box, and it goes to my sister's attic. (Your mama is a better choice, but mine's dead.) ALL the pictures, mementos, gifts, and keepsakes. Ideally, you throw them away. But that''s fucking hard, and in the short term, the just need to be out of your face. Then you unfriend her on all social media. And I mean all of it. Quit facebook stalking her. Don't follow her on snapchat, twitter, or any of those other media. Delete her contact information from your phone, and then block her if you can. All her calls should go to voicemail. All her emails and texts should be deleted unread. Because NONE of them will do you any good. And quit going to places you know she hangs out, hoping to "run into her."

Next: in spite of removing the reminders, she's still going to come to mind. You can't block that out. Here's an example. Quick: Do NOT picture a purple rhino holding a teacup!

You pictured a purple rhino holding teacup, didn't you? One of the perversities of the human mind is that the harder we try to NOT think about something, the more often it comes to mind. So when she comes to mind, own it. Turn whatever concept has come up over in your mind, then remind yourself that she doesn't love you any more, and picture her lips around some other guys' cock. Because THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING.

Channel your energy in the self-improvement. Go to the gym regularly and kill it there. Also at work/school. Get an A in something challenging. Ask for more money or more responsibility at work. In your free time, join an intermural league for basketball, bowling, or some other team sport and cultivate positive relationships with other men.

And when you're ready, start dating again. How will you know you're ready? If you feel the SLIGHTEST inclination to tell your date about your ex, YOU'RE NOT READY YET.

Now - preparing yourself for the next one? That's easy. Abundance. Never date the same girl twice in a row. Make at LEAST 3 new approaches a week. Never date a girl on your rotation until you have at least number-closed on at least one more. Abundance mentality does more to avoid oneitis than any other thing.

Scymnus · 2016-12-11T17:12:18+00:00

Spend time working on your hobbies, hanging out with male friends or fuck other women. Cut her off all social media so she won't pop up by herself and try your best not to stalk her.

bhouse114 · 2016-12-11T17:28:33+00:00

The answer isn't really other women in my opinion. it's turning the focus on yourself. Focus on ways to improve yourself is generally the answer to everything hienstoyb

ouselesso · 2016-12-11T20:06:51+00:00

GFTOW. Simple as that.

red4455 · 2016-12-11T16:40:42+00:00

Many wise men here will say "fuck other women".

Are you currently with your oneitis? Broken up? Or are you stalking her on facebook?

Title	How does you deal with oneitis?
Author	nakedfarmerr
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	December 11, 2016 4:35 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5hqv36/how_does_you_deal_with_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-does-you-deal-with-oneitis.78961 https://theredarchive.com/post/78961

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