I was just wondering about the mechanics of setting boundaries cos i hear all this actions not words shit but i never get any examples to kind of make it click in my head.

As far as I'm aware it goes like this:

her: i wanna go on a girls night out

me: I'm not cool with that

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then if she does it anyway you next her or withdraw attention or what. like this shit's confusing cos i'm not sure if when she does it anyway that means she's just testing a boundary to see if you'll actually withdraw attention or if it means that she doesn't respect you at all and that it's over.

and that's kind of where i'm lost. do you explain it to her, do you withdraw attention? very confused on how this shit actually goes in real time.

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i hear plenty of mottos about boundaries and shit but i still don't get how you actually do it in real life.