How important really is communication in a (dedicated) relationship?

OFAFV · 2016-12-19T17:34:33+00:00

Communicate your boundaries. That is the main thing. The rest, actions > words so communicate through your actions.

loveydovey2121 · 2016-12-19T17:51:44+00:00

Communication is important to maintaining an LTR. But how you communicate is more important. Any disagreement you have with your gf should be like a father talking to his little daughter. Men think with logic, women think with emotion. So men need to guide the argument so it doesn't end up in a high school screaming flurry.

redisthecoldestcolor · 2016-12-19T18:01:03+00:00

Communication is the relationship. A relationship is two people communicating their dreams, fears, hopes, needs, and desires, and acting upon that communication.

Where RP/BP might differ is the type of communication. For example, if I have a long hard day at work, I'll explain that it tired me out, and that I want some relaxing time, and perhaps ask for a bath and a beer. I won't complain about work, I won't vent about coworkers, I won't take out any problems on my SO. I maintain the frame that I am the strong man, with challenges in life that I am steadily overcoming.

Being weepy and complainy is weak and repulsive. But being open with my current physical, mental, and emotional state allows my SO to feel connected to me and best understand what she can do for me.

TheDisillusionist · 2016-12-20T01:58:08+00:00

Communication is vital but not necessarily the kind most beta sources are advising.

If you talk about your feelings constantly and kiss someone's ass you are not just communicating that data.

This is a huge mistake men make, they think communication is just transmitting data when the subtext, method, and tons of other variables are more important.

fnordsnord · 2016-12-19T17:50:18+00:00

I hate to get all "Bill Clinton," but it depends on what the definition of "Communication" is.

No, a lot of emoting, venting, and spewing of feelings is NOT required, and too much of it does a lot to dry out panties and HURTS a relationship.

At the same time, avoiding cover contracts (I bought her dinner, that means I get sex) and setting expectations are critical.

Title	How important really is communication in a (dedicated) relationship?
Author	Kayaa224
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	December 19, 2016 5:10 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5j7izn/how_important_really_is_communication_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-important-really-is-communication-in-a.79375 https://theredarchive.com/post/79375

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