How to avoid premature ejaculation?

Frigzy · 2017-05-29T13:30:32+00:00

If you haven't already, cut the porn.

Other than that, two things: You are conceptualizing sexuality in your brain. Meaning, you subconsciously work yourself up towards the idea of sex. You are way more tense (strong muscle tension is an important factor of orgasms), your mind becomes laser focused on steering the interaction towards the sexual act etc. Basically your entire being is geared towards the idea of sex.

Meanwhile, the idea of sex is pretty much dumbed down to ejaculating. After all, you have only really put yourself in a sexual frame of mind with the clear intention of achieving an orgasm.

So that's the mental part.

How to deal with this? Look at what's wrong with the above and adjust accordingly. In other words, when masturbating, focus on the sensation rather than finishing off. Focus on what you are feeling instead of focussing on fulfilling a certain urge. Instead of giving immediately to the increasing intensity, observe it and only go with it at your own call.

The second trick is to increase the control you have over your own body. During the vast majority of my life I always presumed that whether or not I had an erection was entirely out of my control. Turns out it's not. More specicially, it's possible (through utilizing your PC muscles) to lessen and even remove your own erection at will. An erection is basically massive bloodflow and blood containment. It is possible to 'open up the floodgates' by consciously using your pc muscles (pushing out). This will usually allow the blood to gradually drain and your erection to fade.

Obviously there are times when the level of arousal will make this incredibly hard, but the main takeaway is that you have more control than you think, and practicing and experiencing this control will ease a lot of the anxiety you are now facing.

Last but not least, try to combine both of these tips and reflect on them. At the same time, realize that -regardless of your anxiety levels- premature ejaculation is not uncommon and nobody will really give a shit. It's part of your current path, but I would say it's more delusional to think that it will always be that way, than that you will overcome it within the next couple of months or years. After that you will simply not ever have to worry about it. Might as well start not worrying already.

Edit: One very big reminder regarding the mental aspect is your partner choice. I noticed that I had very severe PE when I was (about to) have sex with women I wasn't sincerely attracted to. Why? It not only made me conceptualize sex, it made me conceptualize their entire existance. The one and only reason for me to interact with them was because of sex, more importantly my own orgasm. I was basically holding out with them solely to get 'it' over with. Go figure how much built up sexual tension that created. With women who I actually liked spending some time with, there was none of this and PE has hardly been an issue.

Metalageddon · 2017-05-29T12:42:54+00:00

A few options.

If your recovery time is quick, have the girl get you off before penetration. The second will last much longer, and you'll look like a stud. Plus she'll feel good about how "skilled" she is.

If you're masturbating a lot, chances are you actually have deathgrip. You won't know until you fuck a girl, but there's a good chance you won't feel much of anything at all.

On the other hand, your body likely dissociated the act of sex from ejaculation. This is what you're afraid of, in which case, no porn, and likely no fap. Start fucking as soon as possible.

There's dozens of guides out there in the trp main thread, I suggest searching them and finding the one whose symptoms fit you most, then going with them.

Eternasphere · 2017-05-29T18:10:38+00:00

Stop watching porn and use lube when going solo. Don't sit up in a chair but lie back in your bed to simulate how you'll be for sex. Change the way you jerk off so that you stop when you're about to finish and then keep going. There's an "intense focus" you can tap into that is like meditation and you can train this so you can stop yourself from cumming without discontinuing physical stimulation.

Also when it comes to sex and you're about to finish too early, pull your dick out and focus a bit, meanwhile fingering her clit until you're ready to go back in and start over

KumonRoguing · 2017-05-29T15:24:05+00:00

One thing to remember is that sex is very different. If you bust in 30sec just keep going. The second time always takes much longer. Control your breathing and stroke is a good tip too.

DadOnDabs · 2017-05-29T15:31:46+00:00

Separate sex and masturbation. Quit masturbating more than once a week. The main reason for this is because you only have one goal in masturbating. That is to reach climax. The one goal in sex is to enjoy yourself and have fun. There is a fine line between the two. You have to find it yourself by having a lot of sex.

iwan73 · 2017-05-29T15:37:43+00:00

For me position is really important. I can only finish in certain ones (probably the angles or something) so I just do the other one's until she's had her fill and switch.

So try a few different positions and do some testing.

vicious_armbar · 2017-05-29T17:31:13+00:00

Get the thickest condoms you can find. Trust me you won't feel shit.

mrHappyPotatoe · 2017-05-29T19:17:35+00:00

My first time i didnt came at all. I pumoed her 30 min straight. But she got like few gasms and was worrying i kill her.

2nd time was when i really cared about girl and i came luke in 2 strokes.

So like in the book sex god it is true. Its all psychological. Get your shit together and u are fine.

M_I_Z_Z_O_U · 2017-05-30T05:37:07+00:00

I'm surprised no one has mentioned this, but lots of antidepressants have inability to orgasm as a side effect. The effect is so potent that some doctors prescribe it for premature ejaculation. Talk to your doctor about taking small doses of Paxil or Zoloft for PE. It works like a fucking charm.

Nikelu · 2017-05-29T18:22:42+00:00

First of all go fuck something average and see how that works . You are still a virgin. Now that we got this sorted, women don't care that much if you end early. They like it as well because they think they are so sexy you can't contain yourself. And you can always stimulate them and make them climax with careful finger play at the clitoris . If you come fast with your girl just wait half an hour for round 2. It Will take more time.meanwhile you lick her clitoris , make out with her and play with her body . Also a tip that works for me if i wanna fk for hours is flexing a muscle so I force the blood there for a couple seconds

Peter_B_Long · 2017-05-29T16:21:00+00:00

Cut out porn. Stop unhealthy masturbation. Look up how to become multi orgasmic. Learn it. Read sidebar.

Tebulus · 2017-05-29T16:48:14+00:00

Google.

Unlucky_Leader · 2017-05-29T21:56:48+00:00

I had this same worry, cut the porn and only jerk off when you can do it without porn. 2) when fucking a woman it is expected that you cum early on, maybe not expected but as long as it stands up/is erect after the first ejaculation you will be fine.

veganishell · 2017-05-29T12:38:01+00:00

Scalped properly when you wank, learn your body and pleasure better. Learn some tantric shit, a good wanking session is at least 30 minute.

Then when you reached the most intense orgasm you could imagine, when all of your body is shaking and you're crying like some miserable human being, go NoFap for the rest of your life.

Title	How to avoid premature ejaculation?
Author	twoniggabytes
Upvotes	14
Comments	18
Date	May 29, 2017 12:12 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6dzxwb/how_to_avoid_premature_ejaculation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-avoid-premature-ejaculation.91803 https://theredarchive.com/post/91803

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