How to be a smooth conversationalist?

whoscodex · 2019-06-26T13:58:58+00:00

I just Shut The Fuck Up and make her do 90% of the talk while i do 10%

GAndGMethod · 2019-06-26T08:44:49+00:00

I wrote down topics

Than wrote down as many deep questions about those topics

Than practiced and memorized them in the mirror with a picture of a hot girl taped to it. While also working on my tonality of the sub communications of those questions. Also recorded them and played them back to myself and listen to them during the gym.

Than went out and used those questions on real women

After that kept the questions that I got the most qualification from and my breaks in rapport to her answers. Kept the good ones and got rid of the questions they didn’t real care about and the breaks in rapport that didn’t hit.

I applied the formula that comedians/actors used for my verbal game. Basic deliberate practice.

Every technique of game I created my own drills for it than took it to the field.

Example created my own opening drills, hooking drills, breaking rapport drills, etc.

I took the whole framework of game and broke down each section to the most micro level.

Even made flash cards using spaced repetition.

Got all these ideas from just studying the skill set of learning anything which is called deliberate practice.

Every morning I woke up I did all my drills, and at night did them again but tipsy/drunk/high to get practice in being in different mindsets.

horologist2018 · 2019-06-26T08:51:45+00:00

No.

And I'll tell you why I say that.

You are coming at this from the wrong angle. The logic behind your post is as follows:

I'm not fucking a girl --> I want to fuck a girl --> I see other guys fucking a girl --> He must have secret password to girl's pussy --> If only I could learn the password --> Ask AskTRP for the password.

You need to understand that there is no singular conversation that beds a girl. Your question is not so much "how to be a smooth conversationalist" as it is the subtext: "Give me the key words, in order, so I can fuck a girl." This is obvious when you say

I'm not only talking about pick up lines

Pickup lines are useless, which you only hint at, but essentially ask for the bigger pick up line; the whole conversation. It would be useless to tell you any conversation I had with any female. It's not just the conversation. Dozens of factors play in to fucking a girl after meeting. Conversation is only one of those factors. Looks, conversation, vibe, escalation, eye contact, your smile, teasing, her mood, prior contact with her, whether or not she has set previous boundaries, your social status, all of those things play in.

Instead, I'll give you real advice. Buy these two books:

Models by Mark Manson

and

Game by Roosh V

Also, read the side bar.

Seriously, it's good advice. I can assure you.

Drakane1 · 2019-06-26T15:47:28+00:00

learn to shut the fuck up, if u have been going to the gym and dress appropriately most of the time it is easy you approach they talk and you ask them to go back. i have cockblocked myself with several women by not just shutting the fuck up. like, stop talking. be stoic. 4 times I was in their room on their bed and because i didnt shut up ruined the mood. broke a plate because after sex I didn't shut the fuck up.

bbcbarbarossa · 2019-06-26T14:42:54+00:00

From your replies, it's obvious that you're a very reactive person. You feel like you have to react to everything that's said. That's one thing you can surely use to correct your conversational skills.

kaolin224 · 2019-06-26T15:32:32+00:00

I've heard conversational agility described as a having a quiver of specialized arrows on your back, kinda like Hawkeye.

Making these arrows is a combination of being well-read, worldly, and confident.

The first two are a given.

You can't have an opinion on something if you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Well, you can... but everyone will think you're an idiot.

Read about the big things happening in the world, at least the headlines. Read about things you genuinely enjoy.

Read, read, read.

The third one is more complex.

Confidence means believing in your point of view, and not being afraid to call out bullshit when you see it.

Don't be afraid of confrontation, stand your ground if you know you're right, and speak your mind clearly and concisely.

The last big piece of the puzzle is body language which is a tale for another day.

Ohboohoolittlegirl · 2019-06-26T11:11:30+00:00

It doesn't matter much what I say. It's how you say it and what you do.
You can banter and you can banter with sexual tension. YOu want the last. How to build sexual tension? Kino, slight innuendo, cocky funny behaviour and EYE CONTACT.

Eye contact, a wink here while bantering and don't be afraid to show your interest in her body.
Mostly though, make it clear what you want. Lots of guys fail cause they fail to communicate their interest or fail to make her feel.

MindFuktd · 2019-06-26T15:30:19+00:00

Listening

omega_dawg93 · 2019-06-26T15:47:14+00:00

my experience... it doesn't matter what you say.

I've literally walked up to women and said, "blah blah blah," and just smiled.

some laughed... some looked confused... some walked off... but some smiled back and some played along by saying, "blah blah" back to me.

the point: your approach, demeanor, voice tone/cadence, body language, smell (cologne), dress etc are what women tune into. the words don't really matter... bc attraction works behind the scenes (sub-consciously).

don't try this if you're not confident in how you approach or notice choosing signals from her.

one of the first girls i tried this on still calls me 18 yrs later and laughs about the "blah" approach.

what she struggled to realize long ago is that attraction is not a choice... and admits she's been attracted to other men on that level while being married.

side note: innuendo and knowing how women sub-communicate thru watching your actions and displaying her actions is both an art and an acquired skillset.

BurningOrangeHeaven · 2019-06-26T15:45:16+00:00

The more people you talk to the more you'll understand how to interact with another human.

Write the whole conversation maybe?

That makes it sound like you just want to copy paste a conversation in real life.

jacknifejones · 2019-06-26T15:31:21+00:00

Just reading through this thread makes me wanna find OP and punch him in the eyeball.

"Wah-wah..just give me examples!..I'm not listening and thinking about what you are trying to tell me. I just want to be fed like a baby"

All these good people have helped and you haven't been able to absorb shit.

You have been trying to absorb the pill for years and say you can't do it. It's not the cultural difference (AWALT) It's you.

Useless faggot.

PolukranosEatsWords · 2019-06-26T16:46:18+00:00

I've read here that you're an artistic type? So am I, and I've learned you just have to not show that side to yourself.

For me, what has worked, is that during communication I try to wrangle my thoughts to be the most basic, simple, and humorous as I can manage.

The best practice for this I've found has been through texts, because it allows you more time to contemplate a response without any of the added variables like body language, tone, ect. So learning what to say in a complete vacuum allows you just focus on the conversation.

A good tool for me is to visualize this (because hey we're artists) like a brainstorm. We have a topic, and I can respond with a number of ideas in turn. I try to cross off in my mind ideas that are too complex, too negative, something that will be too far removed from the topic, ect.

Also try to see being "smooth" as having incremental transitions from one point to the next. It also helped me to put it in terms of "momentum". You want to keep "the ball rolling", so to speak.

BurnoutRS · 2019-06-26T20:35:41+00:00

Stop desiring to be a smooth conversationalist. The more you want it, the more you will notice when your behaviour irl, is not congruent with your imagined ideal. This creates anxiety, which in turn causes you to further loosen your grip of the conversation.

redvelvet_oreo · 2019-06-26T17:30:29+00:00

I think what alot of guys get wrong is that they sound like robots. Literally have no soul when they speak. A girl has to feel something. It dosent matter what your saying so much its more so HOW you say it. You dont have to be extra loud just be loud enough to hear and have emotion and authority in your voice. Playing online games and how you sound doing that is probably the best reference for it.

As the side bar states is that the guy in the start will do the heavy lifting but once shes emotionally hooked let her do the talking.

Also learning how to free associate can really make a conversation go on. Its like improvising. The key IMO is to always find ways to keep the vibe going. When you spin off to different random conversations find ways in that to play with her emotions.

SoftVillage · 2019-06-26T19:36:39+00:00

Stop caring about your own opinions. Stop caring about hearing the sound of your voice. Stop caring about convincing the other person how right you are.

nexther · 2019-06-26T20:25:19+00:00

You need much more exposure and then you’ll be calm and then you’ll be smooth.

fartt123 · 2019-06-26T21:00:23+00:00

I'll tell you what you are doing wrong. You are asking for information (investment), but not providing it yourself. For example in this post you ask people to detail a convo, but there is no example of you failling. Id suggest putting the example you have in the response to someone, in the post. After telling a little story in the direction you want the convo to go you shut the fuck up, let it get awkward, let the silence linger. If someone still doesn't want to talk, that means they just don't want to talk. Excuse yourself and start with someone else.

redsted12 · 2019-06-27T08:39:38+00:00

If you are doing a cold approach try to get her to engage as much as possible (not too hard) and when the conversation is getting boring or slow then say "hey, can I get your number?" Do not forget to use her name in conversations. People love hearing their names. After that just shut up and leave her alone.

UziNidalee · 2019-06-26T13:59:15+00:00

Can we start banning useless idiots like OP yet?

Title	How to be a smooth conversationalist?
Author	UniqueAway
Upvotes	54
Comments	107
Date	June 26, 2019 8:28 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/c5n9us/how_to_be_a_smooth_conversationalist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-be-a-smooth-conversationalist.243418 https://theredarchive.com/post/243418

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