How To Prevent Flakes?

GunnarX · 2017-07-20T17:34:30+00:00

I always tell them I will text them.

For example:

Me - Would you like to join me for coffee late Saturday afternoon at (your place of choice)

Her - Yes/No

If yes,

Me - okay. I will text you mid Saturday morning to touch base

Usually works for me. I think having a fairly descriptive plan will lead her to actually believe you are serious. Ideally text as early in the day as possible before the meetup, so if she doesn't answer you can do more productive things with your time than get shown up.

FromTheCaveIntoLight · 2017-07-20T20:36:08+00:00

after you get the contact info, dont bother with the small talk. just a hey, let her respond and say lets do x on x day at x time. if she agrees and the date is 2-3 days away, touch base the day before or the morning of to make sure its still a go. but flakes happen a lot. just keep getting girls numbers and try out different variations of what youve been doing. What works for me, may not work for you. but dont keep doing the same thing and expect different results.

phoenixtoast · 2017-07-20T19:20:16+00:00

Try cutting the small talk. They are probably being worn out by texting. Women's phones are constantly blowing up with suitors, friends, relatives, and even random people. You aren't really rising above the rest of those. In short, you're becoming a chore/bore before you even meet up. There is no mystery, no chase and that's what they desire most.

You want to stay on their radar, ping them every once in a while and basically wait for them to make the move. They won't actually ask you out, but they'll signal. The problem with texting is that you have no context, no clue what mood they're in. You might ask them out when they're in sweatpants and Haagen Daas mood. It's a shitty sign of the times, but something you have to deal with.

A good way to do this is to Snapchat them, you don't even have to send them snaps directly, just post stuff on your story that shows you're out doing things, or just having fun. If she's interested, eventually she will facilitate when she's in the mood to go out. You'll be able to tell.

Peter_B_Long · 2017-07-21T00:58:50+00:00

It's better to give them a card, or your phone number, that way if they text you it's a definite sign of interest. Getting a phone number from a chick nowadays means nothing. Girls give out their numbers to guys all the time, and have no intention of meeting up with them.
It's best to get right to the point and invite her for coffee....no idle chit chat. Had you given out your number to her, you could get away with a little flirting, but you don't know that now, she might have forgotten you. Try to get her out ASAP. Invite her out, don't beg or ask. Don't go for beer, you don't want them to think you're trying to get them drunk.
You texted her and then waited. By doing this, you're killing the momentum by texting her, then waiting 3 days and then asking her out at the end of the week. In her mind it seems all disorganized and purposeless....she knew you wanted to get her out from the get-go so you should have done it when you first texted her, like within a day. I would have texted her Hey Jennifer...then I'd wait to see if she remembered me. If so, I would have proceeded to pique her curiosity..."I want to tell you something cool, but I need to do it over the phone, call me"....then when she calls you, you invite her out. This is an easy way to smoothly transition from one level of communication to the next and then getting her out.
Don't demand a woman to meet you at X time and Y place. Some guys do this and think they're being masculine, when they're really just being a pushover. Women are not dogs, they do not like to be ordered around, and they have their own lives apart from you. You ask them..."when are you free this week"...this is not weak, it's just a way to show them that you are considerate of their time. Then when they tell you a specific day...you follow up by mentioning the specific place and time to get together...eg. "so lets meet up Thursday at xyz cafe at 7 PM". Do this all at once, if you don't she will definitely flake on you.

RedSkeller · 2017-07-20T18:18:33+00:00

Flakes are going to happen, especially if you're doing the online/tinder/bumble sort of thing. I would tell them to text me after 4 - 6 messages. If they text, I set something up like 'let's grab coffee, I'll call you at X time". Set it up within 24/48. Keep the call a couple minutes and just let her hear your voice and set up the logistics, should take a minute or two - in my opinion this solidifies things and makes you more real than just a couple of messages.

Flakes and time wasters will do the following; they are busy now, but not next week (fading you out), will continue to say they are busy and never ask you about your schedule or try to make any sort of effort on their end (validation machines), or just a flat out last minute flake with no plans of reschedule. So move on and keep grinding.

Ninja_Toker86 · 2017-07-20T21:35:43+00:00

What's with all this fucking texting. Call her. You can tell over the phone how invested in you she is. Not through text.

Really ease shit dude.

You - Hey its me from such and such, got a minute?

Her - hey blah blah blah

You - heading to pretty cool place tues @ xx:xx You should join me.

Her - sounds fun blah blah

You - sooooo...

Her - Ok I'll come blah blah blah

You - great I'll text over the "LOGISTICS ONLY" on see you Tues @xx:xx

HANG UP

Text the morning of the event, set it up two or three days in advance, get a second date planned. Plan the second to turn up within the hour or so. Both turn up and boom threesom. You investing too much in that one chicka.(all of them) I'd say your not creating enough mystery.

Oh and some are just shit people. So is life.

Pitchfork51 · 2017-07-22T03:00:27+00:00

Establish attraction before you get contact info. Try to bring her home. If she's not down but likes you then say you want to meet up later in the week then get her digits if she agrees.

Title	How To Prevent Flakes?
Author	Peter_B_Long
Upvotes	3
Comments	20
Date	July 20, 2017 5:26 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6ohrby/how_to_prevent_flakes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-prevent-flakes.94446 https://theredarchive.com/post/94446

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