How to react when Ex is being mentioned?

Trposh · 2019-02-11T03:22:03+00:00

Last time a FWB (oneitis) and I were out having burgers and drinks, she casually mentioned that her ex asked her out that night and she told him she already had plans (with me). Internally it annoyed the fuck out of me; externally I said nothing and took another bite out of my burger.

Chad1738 · 2019-02-11T01:50:27+00:00

I just look away like something else has my attention. If she brings up her ex it means you are talking too much to her. Less talking and more fucking.

TRP8myfeels · 2019-02-11T01:50:09+00:00

Yah just tell her it's in bad taste to talk about prior relationships and be patient. People don't have much to talk about sometimes.

FiveStarTendieDinner · 2019-02-11T03:29:13+00:00

You don't react.

HurricaneHugues · 2019-02-11T09:00:58+00:00

Let her talk her nonsense. At least you know she's not a quality girl and will never be worth your commitment.

walawalawa · 2019-02-11T01:50:35+00:00

Lots of material on this but it's important what NOT to do.

When she brings up her "ex" it's because she's still thinking of him and on a subconscious level comparing you to him. If you get upset it immediately elevates him in her mind and downgrades you as insecure, needy etc. Control that urge.

The best response is no-response. Change the subject or reframe it around YOUR ex. Read everything you can about "Boyfriend Destroyer"---lots of material out there.

The idea is not to put him down but to make him insignificant:
"Wow he sounds needy..."

"He sounds desperate...."

"You were probably the best that he could ever hope for...." this sets him up as lower value because hypergamy dictates women will always trade UP and if he's pedestalizing her she's way above him.

mrmaldoror · 2019-02-11T01:47:11+00:00

"blah blah don't care"

Kpwn88 · 2019-02-11T03:40:18+00:00

😴

goblinboglin · 2019-02-11T08:52:41+00:00

Just nod and don't respond.

Works EVERY time.

lazydogg9 · 2019-02-11T12:33:42+00:00

"wow, he sounds like quite a catch! Why did he dump you? Did you fuck it up? What's wrong with you?" Say this and then stop listening Subtly hint that she shouldn't need to bring exes up again. Put down a negative anchor(NLP shit) for her. She should feel uncomfortable if she thinks about exes with you around

raj_ams · 2019-02-11T05:33:37+00:00

Why do you want to react?

jokingprice · 2019-02-11T13:49:23+00:00

Start picking your Nose

KirthWGersen · 2019-02-11T16:32:14+00:00

What I do is listen. And encourage her to tell me more. That way I find out more about her life, her personality, her experiences and expectations. It is all valuable information. I don't see why people would get upset about it. You are not the only man the women in your life will ever be attracted to; if she is with you at that moment it is because she wants to be.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-02-11T23:07:55+00:00

I've found myself replying with, "coooool" in an uninterested manner and changing the subject whenever someone is word vomiting something I'm not interested in. It's a bit douchy I guess but it gives the impression not to bring it up again. I don't do it often and it works 100%.

I do this with my LTR as she sometimes really starts talking about uninteresting things when she gets the ball rolling.

So, just respond uninterested and change the subject. If she keeps talking about him withdraw your interest and proximity and consider soft nexting.

Title	How to react when Ex is being mentioned?
Author	JacobM00re
Upvotes	2
Comments	22
Date	February 11, 2019 1:39 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/apb2m0/how_to_react_when_ex_is_being_mentioned/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-react-when-ex-is-being-mentioned.215467 https://theredarchive.com/post/215467

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