How would trp react to ex's shittests?

Ian702907 · 2016-08-30T03:51:35+00:00

Ignore all texts unless it's "about the kids and formal stuff"

trpthroway123 · 2016-08-29T16:10:37+00:00

This is entirely expected.

Women crave validation. After divorce, her main source is no longer tied to her.

She sees you ignoring her. You moved on. No more compliments, no more assurance, she's not even worth the time out of your day to have a conversation. This is the opposite of validation, it's proof she's not important, not special. It's killing her.

So, she does what all women do in this situation, tries to get some validation. She'll throw things out with the hopes a discussion arises, proving to her that she's still worth your time (EX: the food from neighbors thing). She'll fish for emotion from you, which proves you care (the men hitting on her). Might be anger, might be jealousy, might be envy, but the point is, she wants to see something out of you that proves you still care, which proves to her that she's someone worth caring about.

How to react? Simple. Keep doing what you're doing. Focus on you, ignore her outside of what you have to deal with in order to see your kids and deal with formal stuff.

If she finds someone else, expect this to stop, expect her to become a bitch. If she doesn't, expect her to push to discuss a formal matter in person, over dinner. Don't fall for it.

nastynickdr · 2016-08-29T16:46:54+00:00

You dont react. Thats what she wants.

"Chad and Jamal have been hitting on me"

"Oh, cool."

"Jamal fucked my ass so hard, I cant even sit today."

"Ok."

"We should switch houses because blablablabla"

"No, im fine with the way things are"

Talk only about kids and formal stuff.

from_the_ashes_me · 2016-08-29T16:00:29+00:00

Don't react. It's none of your business anymore, except where it has to do with the kids. You should be able to check up on anybody she might cohabitate with, but other than that, it's not yours to deal with. Just ignore.

quicklogaccount · 2016-08-29T17:39:14+00:00

I don't think she's shit testing. She's fishing for validation, I wonder if it is fair to call it comfort testing after the relationship is over...

Anyway, don't lower your value. Don't react in anger or jealously. Don't EVER seek her to have these light conversations.

Now, do you think it's worth validating her a bit? For serious, it doesn't harm to be on good terms. You can do it without lowering your value.

- He offered me his phone, I declined.
- Ok, but you know you're good to take it, right?

- They offer me food, we should switch homes.
- They're really kind people aren't them? It's better to have the kids around nice people.

Just don't EVER let her develop the idea that she still affects your emotions.

I also don't advise to dread. She'll probably try to dread you, but you really don't want her to resent you.

Title	How would trp react to ex's shittests?
Author	accountfor_asktrp
Upvotes	3
Comments	14
Date	August 29, 2016 3:47 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/505nc8/how_would_trp_react_to_exs_shittests/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-would-trp-react-to-exs-shittests.110490 https://theredarchive.com/post/110490

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