How would you summarize holding frame?

bluefingerblue · 2017-10-16T01:49:52+00:00

Don’t let her get you on your heels, reacting nervously to comments designed to elicit such a response. It’s your conversation. Not hers. If you don’t like something she says, that’s ok, but don’t fall into the trap of showing weakness by explaining yourself, backtracking, apologizing, etc. Hold your frame.

mushroom_overlord · 2017-10-16T09:25:16+00:00

"Frame" isn't really defined specifically by anyone but from what I gather after reading a lot of Rollo Tomassi (The Rational Male) a definition I've come to agree with is essentially "the frame of reference of the interaction" which is further shortened to "frame" for simplicity.

Everyone has their own frame of reference or "frame." When you see something from someone else's perspective or do things because of that person's perspective you "enter their frame" i.e. temporarily change your frame of reference to theirs. On the other end, you can also bring others into your frame.

TRP talks about frame in sexual strategy, in which case as a man you always want to have the dominant frame and if possible bring her into your frame. This gains more attraction, and the other way around of being brought into her frame is more likely to lose attraction.

Common example is a coulple's argument. Her starting frame is "I feel like you did something wrong, so you're wrong" and your starting frame is "Nah its fine" (or rather I suggest that you should have such a frame; DGAF). If you DEER (Defend, Explain, Excuse, Rationalize) you enter her frame because as humans we automatically assume that defensive people have something wrong they have to defend. I.e. by doing that she just continues to think you have something wrong you did to defend. If you hold frame in this interaction and dominate, she is likely to enter your frame where whatever happened that you are arguing about doesn't matter.

Not everything in life must happen in your frame, I suggest that you put yourself in situations where you can hold frame most of the time but sometimes it takes a suck-up to get ahead in a job or something. But with women that you want to be sexual options, always hold frame.

GayLubeOil · 2017-10-16T09:49:17+00:00

Maintain your narrative

FlyingSexistPig · 2017-10-16T04:07:52+00:00

It's world-view and unspoken assumptions.

"Honey, did you take out the trash".

It's hard to tell without hearing the tone whether it's a genuine question, or if she's nagging you. If she's nagging you, then you need to hold frame. If it's a genuine question, like, she's about to change to get ready to go out and wants to get it done before she's wearing nice things, that's something else.

How you respond depends on your world view. Is it your job to do menial dirty tasks, and her job to nag you like she's your mom?

EGOtyst · 2017-10-16T12:26:08+00:00

You do you, stay cool. Think Val Kilmer in Tombstone, or Bond in any Bond flick.

When gaming a girl, you are both boxers. She keeps throwing the jab. You are bobbing and weaving, but with a grin on the entire time. You ate thinking to yourself, "is that the best you got?" The fight is yours to win, not hers.

RedwallAllratuRatbar · 2017-10-16T18:21:15+00:00

Holding frame is lying. It's what politicians do when they're accused - he ignores the question or pretends he answers it and goes on to things he is prepared to talk for hours. Or google after stealing your data ignores the issue , says its customization and offers free infomercial about privacy to be vary of evil hackers. Etc etc

Title	How would you summarize holding frame?
Author	mikeyd03
Upvotes	8
Comments	9
Date	October 16, 2017 1:38 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/76n9mc/how_would_you_summarize_holding_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-would-you-summarize-holding-frame.116357 https://theredarchive.com/post/116357

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