Until I was 10 years old I had sort of hyperactivity. Then I was punished for being loud in school. I had too much energy and sometimes I hurt other kids by accident. Slowly I learned the fact that I will have to stay in school for years. I accepted my fate. Slowly I lost my energy or suppressed it.

Today when I'm interracting with hot girls or when I'm doing something I'm really passionate about, that energy comes back. It is really intense. I think I'm just suppressing that energy in general. I think I've been in a lethargic state. I think I'm resentful because of this somehow.

How can I release that energy in a healthy ongoing way instead of sudden bursts? I'm talking about being loud, positive and energetic for 24 hours when I'm interacting with others or when I'm interracting myself. Should I just say FUCK THIS SHIT and just change my personality radically 0 to 100?