~ archived since 2018 ~

I feel really confident when interacting with women but I can't stand competition with men, why is this?

Desh77 · 2016-05-17T18:40:08+00:00

It's like I'm aware of every single little thing that makes me lose points in favor of another guy and it bothers that I'm so much aware of...

Desh77

May 17, 2016

4 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	I feel really confident when interacting with women but I can't stand competition with men, why is this?
Author	Desh77
Upvotes	4
Comments	13
Date	May 17, 2016 6:40 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4jsflt/i_feel_really_confident_when_interacting_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-feel-really-confident-when-interacting-with.105587 https://theredarchive.com/post/105587

Comments

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_884 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]Desh77 2 points2 points2 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]sXeLexi2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Desh772 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]scarthearmada1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

They think every other guy in the room is a Chad with a higher SMV when that is not the case.

Exactly. Go walk into the office tomorrow. Or class, if you're still young and in school. Look at every guy in the room. Most of them are around 5-6. They're average, just all around average. Maybe some early dad bod bellies, but they're handsome enough for an average girl. The fat geeks are 2-3s. The fit guys are 7-8s. You might see a 1 in there; he's the fat neckbeard wearing the Nintendo Power Glove. You might see a 9 or 10 in there; he's the fit guy wearing the fitted dress pants and shirt, with a stylish tie because he has an interview or meeting at some point. By simply working on your physical appearance, you're guaranteed to go up 2-3 points. That puts you into the upper SMV rankings.

Now, understand that you're already better than most of the guys around you in terms of physical appearance. If that 10 tries to go after the same girl as you, the chances are that they're going to lose. But so the fuck what? Life isn't fair. Besides, you can bet he's not chasing after 6s, 7s, and 8s. He's going after the 9s and 10s. That's just how the world works. It's "not fair," and it never will be. If you want your family to do better -- than raise your kid to be a 10, not an aspiring 6.

Now, the question of why you feel this way? Again, as RedditAdminsSuck_88 pointed out: "you're insecure about yourself." Work on some yourself, refresh your perspective, and continue on fighting the fight.

[–]Desh77 1 points1 points1 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Pineconerunner1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

He's saying that the fact it bothers you shows that you are insecure. People with high self worth don't worry about what others think because they know who they are.

It's something every one of us struggles with, I'm no exception. I find myself having to catch these thought processes and work against them in real time by noticing them.

Do more things you like, build a reputation that someone can not shake because they cannot shake you.

Greatest step in overcoming my depression was realizing that I'm going to be who I want and it means shit what anyone thinks about it, sometimes being the super extroverted empath is obnoxious. But being the kind of person that pulls smiles from men and women as I walk down the street and people strike up a conversation with after I flash a smile is worth it. That's who I am, what anyone else thinks is irrelevant.

[–]Desh77 1 points1 points1 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

He's saying that the fact it bothers you shows that you are insecure. People with high self worth don't worry about what others think because they know who they are.

I totally agree, in fact that was me in the past. Then I changed and started playing my own game without worrying about what others think of me. In fact, that's how I go about my day and people are not a problem. What I describe above happens when guys try to shit on my image and my reputation for the way I am.

For example, you go into a new workplace, you realize people start liking you there, you like the place, you are good at your job, and you are being YOURSELF. At the same time, you honestly don't care about the guys but you don't shit on them either. Now, time passes and it becomes evident that they are clearly trying to use you to push their value up. If you are popular with the women and the guys keep shitting on you in front of them, I can be confident all I want, but that behavior is still annoying.

It's not that it makes me insecure about myself, I still like myself and how I am. But it pisses me off that they try to frame me, my image and who I am as something negative and disgusting. What I feel is that I'm being passively confronted by a bunch of pussies, and that bothers me.

That's who I am, what anyone else thinks is irrelevant.

Me too, and it took time for me to realize this as well. But it doesn't mean that you are gonna let people push you out of circles or classify you however they want just because you don't give a shit about their opinion. You and I know that learning to be ourselves and not caring is hard and rewarding at the same time. But people around us? Most of them are as weak as fuck...

[–]Pineconerunner0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Desh77 1 points1 points1 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Pineconerunner0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago [recovered] (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ecosci0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mudpielol0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link