I've been reading TRP relentlessly for the last 6 months after a failed oneitis. I'm a 26 year old virgin and after two big recent threads in the main TRP forum, I've kind of just snapped and mentally written off women.

Ive been suffering depression over the last few months and putting too much pressure on myself to lose my virginity and raise my SMV in an unrealistic amount of time. I've come to accept its going to take time but I've subconsciously just stopped caring after becoming so thoroughly disgusted with the idea of women. I see no positives any more and feel no desire to interact with them beyond a friendship level.

The best day I had last year was a date with my oneitis and now I don't feel i could ever have an experience like that again. All my friends are in good LTRs and it's hard to be around them now. I just feel pathetic and inferior.

I've had problems with self esteem my whole life and I just want some advice on how to stop hating myself 24/7 before I start to consider anti depressants.

My SMV isn't massively low, I've never been particularly blue pill, my frame has always been good, I stand up for myself in all situations and only do what's best for me. But I still just have massive self hate issues that I can never seem to get rid off. I never take pride in any of my accomplishments as they all feel completely worthless. I've also lost interest in my various passions I used to have and just feel empty constantly.

I don't know what to do about it anymore. I meditate regularly but generally don't see the point to living.