Is feeling inferior normal?

lietruth · 2020-04-08T17:35:25+00:00

Sounds like this is a concern with your self esteem.

Your inhibition is amplified around others, you feel judged and inferior.

You need to realize that you are a human, and everyone else you interact with are humans. We all have the same goals, we all eat, we all cry, we all shit, we all want more money, peace, to feel accepted. You're just another human in a room of humans. Socialize with the humans and lower your inhibition- there's nothing to lose.

You are thinking too much about what is right and what is wrong. You need to just do it. Don't get stuck about thinking "is it wrong to search for a social group". It doesn't matter if it's right or wrong (sidenote: it's not wrong), what matters is you're craving human interaction, and you need to satiate that desire.

A book that helped me with this was "The Charisma Myth", "The Six Pillars of Self Esteem" and "The Magic of Thinking Big"

MrMister2018 · 2020-04-08T17:28:40+00:00

Basically, you're asking is it normal to be jealous of Men?

The answer is yes. Because the average guy is jealous of better men.

We'd all love to have a 6 or 7 inch dick. We'd all love to be tall etc. In reality, 90% or higher have 5 inch dicks or smaller, and are little fatties that don't have much going for us lol

Jessor69 · 2020-04-09T01:38:57+00:00

Feeling inferior is 100% normal, especially at 20. It's not insecurity either, it's just objective fact that that guy is better than you. There's an invisible hierarchy of power when meeting people.

I've always used them as fuel to go harder in my pursuits, it's good to have a little competition even if you're the only one playing. Don't think of them as enemies but people to surpass, trust when you get older the 20 year olds will be looking at you the same way.

And it's not about what's wrong or right, it's about what works for you. For me I have always used people above me as fuel to go further or even people below, thinking they gon be better than me FOH. It's just what has always worked for me

BruhMoment45886 · 2020-04-08T19:20:26+00:00

Dont focus on the people better than you. Focus on yourself and if you need an ego boost focus on those below you.

Some people are born better looking. Okay fuck them. I'll just live my life. Or if you really learn to accept yourself, "damn that dudes handsome good for him". It doesn't really effect you. It doesnt make you look any better or worse. Do you actually think those guys are that much happier than you? They're used to getting that kind of treatment its just the normal for them.

The best advice I can give you is to live the best life you can that fits your circumstances. There was this phaggot posting multiple times a week about how he was 5 feet tall, indian, balding, ill, and how he couldnt be popular and fuck hot chicks. I didnt tell him to lift and I didnt give him false hope. I just told him "dont worry about women then". I'm not an attractive guy. I'm like a 5. So I know I will never be the sexual center of attention at a party. I'll never have girls staring at me across the room. And that's okay.

I'm not ego hungry and I don't snap when someone doesnt think I'm attractive. I'm a creative guy, I'm funny, clever, and genuine. If I was good looking I'd probably be basic as hell and lack depth or perspective.

If theres anything you can change that you want to change by all means do it. But try to let go of the jealously and anything that doesnt serve you. Remember, you arent unlucky others are just lucky.

This is too long but also about insecurities: you can be a complete Chad and still have insecurities. So drop them now

absolutelynp · 2020-04-08T19:27:49+00:00

What we also do is projecting much more in to the lives of these people than there actually is. Try to get to know some of them, if they're not playing it cool and lie about what they do and what they up to you'll see that they struggle too. Different struggle but its all leveled out basically. Not too much to feel inferior about.

jealousmelon · 2020-04-08T19:34:21+00:00

Stop thinking in terms of "I am better or worse than someone". That's very crass thinking. You are you. Someone may be more knowledgeable in something but there are no metrics to say that someone is "better or worse" and people should know better that we are far too complex to be judged that way. Just learn and do something good for yourself each day and you will improve. That's the important part. Improvement.

Livecrazyjoe · 2020-04-08T20:24:46+00:00

Or learn how not to give a fuck. Honestly if I was sitting next to high powered attorney with a fancy suit and haircut I wouldn't give a shit. Im swole because I lift and could easily kick his ass. I'm a blue collar guy so I may think differently than you.

Learn how to live in your own world and not care. It's called confidence. If you have to fake it till you make it then do it.

PUA_Fan · 2020-04-08T22:18:55+00:00

At 20 your brain is still not developed. Wait till 25

misfithustle · 2020-04-08T22:58:06+00:00

No need to be jealous. You can be at his level along side him.

However, there are people who will fight you over the attention with games. Those are called narcissists.

thrwy75479 · 2020-04-08T23:08:34+00:00

The guys you're looking up to also have insecurities because they're human. There are also guys out there that are probably envious of you.

Do I use this insecurity to improve my life?

Yes.

The most successful people are always broken in some way, and created their success as a way to feel whole.

As a man, it is vital for you to have a mission, and to chase after it. As you get older, the question of what you've done with your life will become more, and more important.

Maarten van Doorn on ambition:

In life, ‘losing’ doesn’t mean ‘being defeated’. The surest way to lose is to refuse to play.

While playing this game, we need to strike a delicate balance. Self-respect demands that we make a dedicated effort. Self-worth demands that we feel we are enough regardless of its outcome.

Being ambitious and content at the same time is the great challenge of life.

You're young. Take action. Let your insecurities guide you to realizing your potential.

cfbovernfl · 2020-04-08T23:27:24+00:00

Yes. The biggest inferiority complex I've ever had is re: my race. I'm mixed, around the same age as you. I wish I was white, and so do 99% of minorities.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2020-04-09T02:22:35+00:00

No.

Is it a goddamn epidemic though? Yeah, otherwise this sub probably wouldn't exist.

It's a form of Learned Helplessness that develops around the age of 5-9,

This is because parents didn't reward you for doing chores with approval, coach you on what they expected create simple house rules, and failed to consistently punish you for neglecting chores.

This is usually because your parents themselves are perfectionistic/neurotic and didn't have basic standards for what was good enough and what wasn't. So repeating, simple instructions was too difficult for them. They made your lack of direction and motivation about them, personally, instead and caused drama while often just doing it for you.

In kids what looks like obstinacy and resistance is often really a lack of direction. But your parents were too neurotic to understand that, and thought you were somehow yanking their chain or something.

This causes a child to fail to develop confidence in their own abilities despite being desperate to succeed at something.

This fundamental conflict causes a lot of cognitive dissonance.

The child develops the narrative of them being Inferior in some fundamental way, as a Defense Mechanism to avoid the emotional conflict. "I want to, but what if it doesn't work? I want to but what do I really want? I want to, but how dare I?"

Sound familiar?

Like I said this kind of broken parent-child dynamic is a fucking epidemic and it's way worse than COVID-19, because parents don't know how to coach their kids.

Title	Is feeling inferior normal?
Author	guitarplayer12312
Upvotes	21
Comments	20
Date	April 8, 2020 5:23 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fxanef/is_feeling_inferior_normal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-feeling-inferior-normal.361306 https://theredarchive.com/post/361306

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