My heads a bit fucked right now and I’d really appreciate your advice. My girlfriend of 2 years and I (both aged 20) have been going through a rough patch recently. Ever since I (stupidly) told her I was concerned about the possibly of her cheating on me, shes been throwing lots of shit tests my way and generally just trying to rile me up.

I’ve only recently swallowed the pill, but when we met up yesterday evening I made a strong effort to ignore/deflect her tests and tried to act in a more dominant way than I usually do. When I did this, the frequency and severity of her shit tests increased MASSIVELY. I confidently passed these, but inside I felt shaken and honestly quite disturbed, I didn’t recognise my girlfriend and I’ve never seen her act so obviously in her attempts to make me feel jealous and emotional (she kept alluding to breaking up with me for other guys and insulted my character often).

I honestly thought I’d found a unicorn who wouldn’t try this shit, but now I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that yes, AWALT. And yes, it really fucking sucks.

Despite this, we actually ended up having pretty great sex that night and after I left for work this morning she text me apologising for ‘being short’. I’m not looking forward to seeing her again as I found it so exhausting to have to be constantly swatting away her shit and acting indifferent to her inflammatory bait, when inside I felt genuinely humiliated and hurt.

Now you understand the position I’m in, I’m writing to ask how I should proceed, particularly if anyone else here has been in a similar situation and if/how they were able to successfully turns things around?

Also, I know this sub emphasises the need to set clear boundaries but I’m struggling to think of any that I’d like to establish. I’d be thankful if any of you had examples of boundaries that you think are important, and what are the punishments you implement when a girl oversteps them?