Hi, first time poster etc...

I'm 28 and female and the idea of marriage (and having kids) terrifies me but the thought of having a monogamous committed long term relationship is comforting to me. The way I see it all my girlfriends around me are setting deadlines to be married by X age and don't even care about WHO they're getting married to. They set these outrageously high standards and compete with who has the better wedding (I've been a bridesmaid so many times the conversations I hear about costs are scary enough, WHY WOULD YOU SPEND 30K ON A WEDDING WHEN YOU COULD SPEND IT ON A HOUSE???). Then after they get married all they seem to do is nag their husbands and get mean. The way I see it in could easily have all these things whether it be a ring or a husband but I feel like because everyone SAYS I need these things is why I don't want them (and not being in debt over a one night party is nice too). At the same time I still want to have a committed partner where I can do "wifely" deeds for while also pushing each other to be the best person they can be but just not married. I feel like once people get married they just stop and flatline instead of moving forward together. Is this fear normal? I don't know who else to talk about this too?