Is this a beta move by me?

glowing_dolphins · 2020-09-08T22:17:37+00:00

Making friends from a place of desperation is very difficult. No one likes the feel of it.

People want to be around others who are comfortable with themselves, and enjoying their own life.

Have you read the sidebar? Do you lift? Do you have a mission you focus on?

If you are in shape, and diligent, people will want to be around you. I might be way off, but I’m guessing you’re asking this stupid question because you’re too lazy to do the work.

To answer your question directly; stop worrying about what’s beta, your whole post is a shitpile of beta, and if you want to talk to someone, just message them.

Edit: do the work and you’ll be in a better place in 6 months.

Or don’t, and you’ll be here in 6 months. And 6 months after. And after. And on. And on. Wasting away your very short existence.

2020-09-08T22:59:35+00:00

Just have fun.

Worry about having a good time.

For friends, add value before you receive value

Snowboard18 · 2020-09-08T22:28:08+00:00

People don’t like having the responsibility of being friends with someone who is desperate for friends. They don’t want to feel like your happiness is based on if they accept you or not.

I’ve been in your spot before, so I can help you out a little and tell you what helped me.

You need to shift we’re your happiness and self worth comes from. Shift from your happiness and self worth coming from if people like you and want to be your friend to getting it from yourself achieving goals and making something out of yourself. You kill a bunch of birds with that stone, you won’t come across as desperate for friends, you’ll develop confidence because you feel good about achieving your goals, and you might meet some friends in whatever your doing

Important_Mud_9909 · 2020-09-08T23:23:57+00:00

You attract friends, you don't chase them. It can't be forced.

Get on your purpose, get some confidence, put yourself out there, before you know, people will admire you and try to get to know you. Is similar to raising your SMV to get girls.

In this case is your SOCIAL market value. That gets you friends, guaranteed. Loyal friends tho ? That shit comes once in a lifetime and they're a few so don't go around looking for that.

MrNeverDryDick · 2020-09-09T01:20:20+00:00

I moved around a lot when I was younger. Went to 5 different high schools. And my biggest fear was eating alone at lunch. So I was desperate to make friends as fast as I could before lunch rolled around.

Damn still remember that gut wrenching anxiety.

Anyways. I found trying to force things seemed to always make things worse. I was dependent on strangers and I didn’t really vibe with them anyways. Once I stopped really caring and just saying fuck it and eating by myself, eventually genuinely nice ppl would find their way into my life. Sometimes. Few times I was just the weird loner kid.

But basically you can’t force things. Just try and be kind to yourself and be as independent as you can be but always open to others. And if this is just one little period in your life so be it. Just try to do your best bc that’s the only thing you can do. I look back at high school and how insignificant it was just how scared I was for no real reason.

Feel better dude. Brighter days ahead if you just keep growing

Jiu-Jitsu-addict · 2020-09-09T02:26:01+00:00

I only read the first sentence and no more, which leads me to believe "yes it is a beta move by you"

Title	Is this a beta move by me?
Author	deadbodyvandal
Upvotes	1
Comments	11
Date	September 8, 2020 9:57 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ip34m4/is_this_a_beta_move_by_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-this-a-beta-move-by-me.271155 https://theredarchive.com/post/271155

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