Leaving cheating girlfriend

Gtrplyr3838 · 2020-10-07T01:25:23+00:00

If you decided to walk, walk. One last go with her will only complicate things and possibly weaken your resolve. She may work hard to try to change your mind in bed, so I wouldn’t even consider messing with her again.

throwawayandtossout · 2020-10-07T02:34:51+00:00

1) I wouldn't initiate communication with her going forward. If there's an issue that needs to be addressed, write it on a list. If it's urgent, then address all issues on the list at one time. You can keep communication to text .. ie. text or email her with all the things that you need to have answers to when you're out of the house/away. But keep the frequency to a minimum, and only bring them up when it's urgent.

2) If you think about this clearly, you'll know you shouldn't sleep with her again. Especially since you say your reputation is important to you. She can flip that around on you and make you look bad for fucking her one last time when you clearly had one foot out the door. She'll victimize and say you seduced her and she thought you wanted to get back together, even though she clearly knows you're leaving. This is ultimately coming from a mixed place of low abundance (as you said yourself) and the emotional/physical/sexual chemistry you had with her that was good, and it's not going to exist going forward (which makes you sad .. as is understandable).

3) I'd say two options for this. Either go with something very vague like you wrote, or be more specific and honest. You can never go wrong by being honest with other people. But there's a balance in how much detail you go into. You can say something like, "She made many unhealthy, destructive, disrespectful choices that led to the end of our relationship. I was a faithful, loving partner and most women would be thrilled to be with me. She clearly didn't value me, so I am moving on". It implies what she did, without explicitly stating the details that she spread her legs for God-only-knows who.

** Regarding "look[ing] weak if the woman cheated" ... who the fuck cares? Why do you care how people see you? It happened. It wasn't your choice. You think only weak men get cheated on? Cheating has nothing to do the betrayed partner or the relationship .. it's 100% about the cheater. Why? Because plenty of people in bad/abusive/neglected relationships never choose to cheat. Plenty of people who have good, faithful, respectful partners do cheat. This isn't about you man .. the sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll realize there are women out there who would love to be with someone like you, and would never cheat on you.

3.5) My advice here .. don't waste your time on people you don't truly consider your friends. If they were mutual friends, but mostly her friends? Don't bother. If they are people you genuinely care about and have a relationship with, then take the honest, but vague-ish approach I stated above. If any of your friends outright ask you if she cheated, just be honest. You didn't tell them ... you answered their question to you, and unlike your ex-gf, you don't lie to people you care about.

Best of luck dude .. you'll come out of this stronger than you were before. I promise. Just take some time to process it all, grieve the loss, and focus on becoming the best version of yourself possible.

iny_m · 2020-10-07T01:30:50+00:00

I would have left on the spot and never looked back.

You’re an idiot for staying in the same home, let alone consider fucking her again ?

She didn’t even tell you she cheated, YOU FOUND OUT ON YOUR OWN. Wtf is wrong with you..

ImplodedVeggies · 2020-10-07T03:12:26+00:00

Worked with + lived with = cheated on

Familiarity.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2020-10-07T03:46:08+00:00

Note that this is the first instance you found out about. It's likely there were others you haven't found, yet. Hoes gonna hoe it.

Don't let this idea concern you though. Either way she's going in the garbage, so how much does it really matter?

1) How should i be treating her in the house?

As little as possible. So, basically what you're doing now.

"talk/sit down conversation" before I go but I don't entertain that idea.

You: "I've told you everything there is to say already." Then go do something else.

but does the redpill say anything about screwing her one last time before I go? She crazy wild and submissive in bed

The issue is that you LTR'ed a liar. I dunno but this probably falls under the umbrella of not sticking your dick in crazy.

It's your life and everything so that's up to you. I can't tell you to do it or not to do it. But I wouldn't personally feel the desire to give her that kind of attention and ego satisfaction. When you fire someone you don't give them a gift card to a fancy restaurant as a consolation prize for finishing stuff up on your last day.

although our frequency declined over the years.

That's probably about the time she started fucking other dudes. The only reason was probably she was bored. Yes she's really that shallow.

My options are limited here with other women, as preparing/ undergoing the move takes most of my day apart from self improvement and this would be so easy.

Do what you gotta do. You're got more immediate worries than getting your dick in new holes. Such as getting a new job.

3) how should I frame this situation to mutual friends we have that I'm seeing before I go.

"She's a pathological liar. She cheated and I dumped her. Going to live with my parents until I can get a deposit on a new place. That's all there is to it. Ask me about something else."

I feel this makes the man look weak if the woman cheated.

Who gives a damn how you appear to others? The real reason is you still feel a knee-jerk impulse to protect her reputation. That's understandable, you'd have to be a stone cold fucker to not still have a lot of confused feelings.

3.5) I could drag her name but I feel that energy is wasted and misplaced.

You better believe she's already telling Sob Stories to her friends and family and claiming you're abusive or some dramatic nonsense. I'd bet a couple 20$ bills she's trying to manage her corporate image. Pity-Party for one, anybody?

However, I'm protective of my reputation and I feel she could twist things to mutual friends

Probably is doing so already.

Tell the simple, basic truth to them and don't explain any further. Do not J.A.D.E. Don't attempt to justify, argue, defend yourself or explain.

ThrowawayYAYAY2002 · 2020-10-07T09:40:51+00:00

1) Keep it civil in the house if it's in her name. Ignore her if not.

2) How badly hurt are you to contemplate sleeping with her again? Seem's like not a lot, IMHO. Walk away with dignity, sir.

3) Just say that you weren't on the same page anymore, it was fun, and you both decided to part ways.

3.5) Dragging her name through the mud will bring up old feelings, make you look like a walkover, and just annoy everyone. keep it short and sweet.

Move on, OP. Your turn is over.

HurricaneHugues · 2020-10-07T11:03:28+00:00

"How should i be treating her in the house? "

Like a stranger. Shes not your friend. She doesn't respect you. No need to talk to her at all. Don't reward bad behavior by giving her respect.

"She offers for me to keep anything I want in the house even our pet that she bought and loves"

Don't take anything that doesn't belong to you. Take your clothes, dishes, whatever furniture you bought. Treat everything else as if it was infected with her energy. Let her keep what belongs to her.

"but does the redpill say anything about screwing her one last time before I go?"

Imagine having so little self respect that you are willing to make soneone who disrespected you happy.

"how should I frame this situation to mutual friends we have that I'm seeing before I go."

You tell the truth like it is She didn't care about your feelings when she had that other cock in her. If they ask, just tell them you found out she cheated and you're out. It's that simple. You're moving to another city anyway. If they take her side they were never your friends in the first place.

Tambamwham · 2020-10-07T12:03:07+00:00

This is how you treat her. https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/

As for the sit down conversation. No. Tell her the sit down conversation should have happened before she cheated or... you know... at any point in the year since. What is she going to tell you that you don’t already know? Or you to her? Tell her you have no desire to make her suffer but she made her choices and now she has to live with them. I have to worry about me not suffering because I obviously can’t count on her to do it. I’d even wish her luck.

As for mutual friends. Tell them the truth. Secrets and lies is you got into this situation in the first. No more of that. No need to go into details or insult her. Just “i loved her but cheating is a deal breaker to me.” All that needs to be said.

TeddyMGTOW · 2020-10-07T12:22:46+00:00

6 years is about the going rate, no shame.

Title	Leaving cheating girlfriend
Author	Root_61
Upvotes	10
Comments	18
Date	October 7, 2020 1:15 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/j6hq5f/leaving_cheating_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/leaving-cheating-girlfriend.312375 https://theredarchive.com/post/312375

Comments

"How should i be treating her in the house? "

"She offers for me to keep anything I want in the house even our pet that she bought and loves"

"but does the redpill say anything about screwing her one last time before I go?"

"how should I frame this situation to mutual friends we have that I'm seeing before I go."