Let it slide or soft next?

2020-11-09T03:49:58+00:00

[deleted]

Spirited-Foot · 2020-11-09T03:25:13+00:00

I wouldn’t next. I would explain to her again your boundary. Tell her you had fun and enjoy being with her as well. She’s probably just googly for you and needs to be reminded.

If she does it again, go ghost/next.

El_Serpiente_Roja · 2020-11-09T11:24:30+00:00

Honestly ..showing up at your job to mark her territory that's a big no for me but maybe not next worthy..

TXJohn83 · 2020-11-09T04:47:33+00:00

It’s a shit test from her, she can and will keep showing up now. Also, this is the type of girl that will stalk you given the chance, you need to soft next, and be ready to ghost her.

cfbovernfl · 2020-11-09T05:02:19+00:00

Why would you next? Unless you're in the position of spinning plates, tell her to not do that again and continue on.

IXseed · 2020-11-09T03:45:48+00:00

You gotta charge her for it. I know the sex was dope but like you said, she broke a rule. You CANNOT deal with women who do the opposite of what you tell them to do.

Think about this, what if there was like a legitimist reason behind why you didn't want her at your job, like it could get you fired. Would you be cool risking your job just because a bitch 'felt like' showing up?

griz3lda · 2020-11-09T05:02:14+00:00

Did you actually explicitly tell her what to do and not do, or were you hoping she would infer it? If you told her outright not to come to your work and she did (also, why does she know exactly where your workplace is? Small town, or took her there before, or...? Like how much stalking did she have to do to obtain this information?), then hard next. I warn everyone, male friends and plates alike, never to show up to my work/home without permission, and immediately cut anyone off who does (it's just a thing that makes me really nervous-- if I don't have a clear boundary, how would I know if someone were getting weird/clingy, you know? I'd have to speculate over whether I could be socially signaling better, if I were imagining it, etc. Lack of privacy when I need to relax is my worst nightmare, and if I wanted to see people unexpectedly, I'd get a roommate.). If she honestly didn't know better, tell her. However, it sounds like you like this. So I would advise you to think about what you really want before imposing rules.

distraff · 2020-11-09T05:43:12+00:00

I'd let it slide. You will have to let her know, maybe not directly that you aren't up for doing things outside your meetup. Like if she shows up, then say that you are busy and schedule another time. She will eventually get the hint and either live with it, or soft next you.

WIA20XX · 2020-11-09T13:19:08+00:00

She showed up at WORK?

Hard next.

That's stalker behavior.

RP_Demigod · 2020-11-09T14:34:55+00:00

You already lost your chance to deal with it. She broke a boundary and you encouraged the behavior. If the boundary mattered, you would have maintained it. You can tell her not to do it again, but expect a fight.

alphaonthecomeup · 2020-11-09T14:21:20+00:00

Bro relax.

LawItUp77 · 2020-11-09T16:53:58+00:00

This seems more like an attempt to win you over than something that is a real concern. I'd say relax and let it slide, but if she does it keeps going at it or attempts to do other similar things you have to explicitly tell her to not show up. If she refuses, then hard next.

Title	Let it slide or soft next?
Author	mortalnutshell
Upvotes	19
Comments	22
Date	November 9, 2020 3:01 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/jqpm8g/let_it_slide_or_soft_next/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/let-it-slide-or-soft-next.324654 https://theredarchive.com/post/324654

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