Losing control when disrespected by LTR

MattyAnon · 2017-01-01T15:29:06+00:00

She understood, but sometimes she insists in do this.

Women will always test your frame and their boundaries. Talk to her - she won't listen of course. It's a boundary. It's there to be tested. She'll test.

But now I'm not able to keep frame and be patient with this behavior

Frame isn't being unreactive and patient. It's not about keeping calm and being stoic. Frame is a reality, a point of view.

Don't be fucking patient with her, give her the INSTANT soft next - which means you say "I will not tolerate this rudeness" and then you back that up with action and you SLOWLY WALK AWAY. Complete disconnect. Just leave. No more communication. No drama. After that treat her like she doesn't exist, like she's a stranger.

The only punishment women understand is a complete emotional disconnect. Anything else fuels them.

Also, what can i do to control my anger. ?

Your anger stems from trying to control a situation that you cannot control. Ultimately she's a human being who can do anything she wants, as are you. But you see her as your "girlfriend" who "should be nice to you". This is not reality, and ultimately this is beyond your control. You have to accept that you simply cannot control the world, girls, anything. You have influence over it, but you cannot control it.

Accept that the relationship might be over. Be prepared to walk away. View the future of the relationship as only one of many options. Don't try to "make it work".

Also - it's been 3 years. That means the New Relationship Energy is over. Chances are sex will be on the decline and her demands will be increasing. Accept that this is how it goes, and act accordingly.

JuanLesPins · 2017-01-01T14:41:01+00:00

When there is disrespect for you and for what you want when you made it clear that it's disrespectful more than once you have to go all the way with your threats: dump her, or cut contact for a while. The problem is that you probably threaten to leave her if she disrespects you but never follow through with your threat, and she'll lose even more respect for you.

If she is disrespecting you or somebody else in front of you, don't be upset and don't show any emotion. Depending on context you can tell her to shut up, or just leave and go do your thing. Cut contact indefinitely.

P.S.: se precisares podes mandar mensagem em português.

module_process · 2017-01-01T14:57:11+00:00

Do you live with this woman? If not, soft-next 2-3 days. Here are some examples

It could be harder to pull off if you live together, but you could always look into the 4th level of dread.

RPShitlord · 2017-01-01T14:26:41+00:00

Tell her that her behavior is unacceptable and dump her.

That's the only way she'll learn, if she comes crawling back. If she doesn't, she wasn't really into you.

Title	Losing control when disrespected by LTR
Author	vigilantfox
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	January 1, 2017 2:21 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5lfauy/losing_control_when_disrespected_by_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/losing-control-when-disrespected-by-ltr.80057 https://theredarchive.com/post/80057

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