Lost frame with LTR

Blackhawk2479 · 2020-12-05T13:19:02+00:00

Badly, by demonstrating you were butthurt about the comment at the time and then confirming that with her in private afterwards by issuing a demand that it doesn’t happen again.

Were there any other guys there or was it just you, her and her girlfriends?

If the former next time I’d suggest you and the guys have your own conversation and Ignore this sort of shit.

If the latter I suggest you don’t attend any more girls nights.

themostgianthorse · 2020-12-05T15:52:39+00:00

Never show that a woman has emotionally perturbed you. Your reaction is understandable, but it would have been better to go cold toward her rather than explaining yourself. Bad behavior must be punished with a loss of interest in her and a redirecting of attention to other women. To directly confront her bad behavior only signals butthurt and will lower your value in her eyes.

Relaxredditrockstar · 2020-12-05T16:33:45+00:00

“I cannot believe you’re not a virgin. I am very insecure”

SublimePimp · 2020-12-05T21:05:04+00:00

never disturb the surface of plausibly deniable "actions" with women. never overtly give them an ultimatum; simply escalate your withdrawing of affection, while denying anything is wrong, until they stop the behavior. Don't verbalize any butthurt or overtly tell them "muh feelie hurtie." In a situation like this. I would've just been slightly more dismissive, and paid attention to her friends more than her for the rest of the night, then ignored her when i went to bed.

un_knownguy · 2020-12-05T14:38:59+00:00

Opposed to what a lot of guys here on the RP think, I think that your boundaries are YOUR boundaries, and when crossed you need to make it clear that you won't accept them. So I think calling girls out on their bs is right, but...

Your only mistake was showing anger, you should have made your point clear in a calm, quiet and serious manner and then go on as if nothing happened, specially since this is the first time and she didn't know that was upsetting to you.

if you are mad, go outside, throw some rocks, kick your pillow if necessary and then go back and act in a very calmed respectful way and make your point clear, throwing tantrums is for girls.

BUT sometimes when a girl is looking for drama, and she's the kind that loves drama, you give her drama by showing her a bit of "anger", but in the inside you always need to be calmed(sometimes they just need to see that you won't accept their bullshit but this case was totally different)

day2right · 2020-12-05T13:54:42+00:00

You handled it just fine, told her that in private and didn’t call her out in the group.

That was good.

Now going by what you said privately and her reaction somewhere in there I see a fuckup. It could be her attitude, it could be you were overtly emotional. Not sure going by what you wrote.

For now you setup boundaries don’t back out of it.

smolzino · 2020-12-06T01:59:44+00:00

Wouldn't call that a loss of frame. You just set a boundary that is fairly reasonable, firmly and that's it.

DangerM02 · 2021-02-10T22:27:32+00:00

Hehe cuck

Title	Lost frame with LTR
Author	themostgianthorse
Upvotes	0
Comments	17
Date	December 5, 2020 1:10 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/k777m7/lost_frame_with_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/lost-frame-with-ltr.736287 https://theredarchive.com/post/736287

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