Lost my main friends, feeling empty.

BluePillEltonJohn · 2019-01-14T09:29:43+00:00

It sucks but you should work on being happy by yourself. Other people should complement your life not be a necessity. It takes some time tho

NeuroBoss31 · 2019-01-14T09:31:41+00:00

All I can say is things will get better and it's not worth hanging out with people who treat you like shit( they are not your friends)

Keep working on yourself, and focus on studying this semester. You'll meet new people on the way! It is natural to feel like somewhat sad when change is necessary.

throwawaytypebeat · 2019-01-14T12:26:35+00:00

Network, randomly talk to people in your classes before they start, just small chat. You said you gym, ask a random for a spot BOOM you’ve just networked, now every time you see him give a nod or a handshake over time you’ll get closer. Go to party’s you don’t have to drink ofc, pop some caffeine pills to amp you up, and just be yourself just don’t be that cunt holding up the wall, be loud and have fun, showing up with a homemade beer bong sets your value high when you first get to a party, especially if it’s a big rig(6 can funnel) when they ask who you’re with just say your friends a weak and didn’t want to party (don’t let people know you have no friends that’s a red flag cause they will only assume you done some shit stuff to lose em). In bars it is so easy to make friends with the regulars, in AU literally just going up to a lad and saying “you’re a good cunt” (I’ve heard calling someone a cunt in other countries isn’t ideal, but here cunt is like saying “mate” or “bro” just how it is) and a hand shake, then the next weekend seeing him again and giving him another shake, now he remembers you. Share a dart and just talk shit with each other, over time share details and hit gigs with him and that’s just one friend group you have now accessed. Don’t get down lad, if there’s one thing I’ve learnt over time, it’s that if you’re not losing friends you’re not growing up, that lot were pure shit talking you, fuck that. Monk mode the hell up LIFT and next time you see them just look n laugh, you’re on a clean slate, the worlds your oyster now grab it by the balls.

Princejuvy · 2019-01-14T12:55:01+00:00

Have you tried downloading the meet up app on your phone? Download it, put in your information and for your avi I would suggest using a good picture of yourself so when you go to the meetups people in the groups will be able to recognize you. From there just find a group that interests you. Beach Vollyball? Likely a group for it. Boardgames? likely a group for it. And who knows? You might meet some folks from your college who are in other cliques who are in these groups who may get you in with their buddies as well. Good luck bro! I wish you well!

flow2high · 2019-01-14T14:08:04+00:00

There is a book about this topic: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People

i only start it, i think its useful, but it is not my preferred type of writing (anecdote after anecdote...)

don't lose hope, you will find your way and new friends. Chances are good they will be of more quality then the old.

i which you all good, best regards

RedPillRey · 2019-01-14T15:56:14+00:00

If they were talking shit then they were never your friends to begin with. Make some new quality friends. I have many acquaintances that i can talk with and chill with but i have like 3 legit real friends i can count on in life and death situations. Real quality friends are kinda rare in my experience. Most people are selfish pieces of shit and when you hang out with them long enough you see their red flags.

OracleofFl · 2019-01-14T16:31:21+00:00

Join a university club or two.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-01-14T23:48:27+00:00

This happened to me a year and a half ago.

I broke up with an LTR of 5 years. Both of our friend groups had combined into one and we would all do things together all the time. We'd go out of town to concerts and festivals. We'd all hang together for the new year and hug each other. We all even had a bucket list of things we wanted to do. I thought of them as family.

Thanks to TRP, I woke up one day and realized that I was tired of a mediocre relationship and wanted to spin plates and later have a higher quality LTR.

I dumped this girl and dealt with it accordingly.

Where I fucked up was breaking up with her 2 weeks before my birthday. I thought that I could use my birthday as a distraction to get my mind off the break-up. I'd set up a trip that was 4 hours away and had booked a room that slept 6 people. I remember when I first booked it I was worried that the 6 spots would get booked up quick and some friends would be upset about not being able to come.

I was ready for the break-up. I knew I'd be sad. I was somewhat prepared for it. What I didn't know was that all of our friends would stop talking to me. Even the friends that were originally mine and were introduced to her stopped talking to me. I felt like I'd "lost the kids in the divorce". I think losing all my friends hurt more than the break-up of 5 years.

What I thought was going to be an overbooked trip for my birthday became a desperate one to fill. Everyone canceled on me. I even reached out to other people and offered to pay for the whole thing but still, I was left hanging. Only 1 friend came with me on my birthday trip and he was broke. I had to pay for all his drinks and expenses as well as pay for the whole room by myself.

As much as this sucked OP, something wonderful came of this.

Because I had lost everyone, I was able to begin anew. Now, I was to start my foundation. Now, I could be whoever I wanted because nobody knew who I was and I could do whatever I wanted because nobody knew what I did. I started pick-up and practiced game. My dating social world grew.

I had a high school friend that I had lost touch with but was still close to. Lucky for me, he was in a fraternity and was an extremely likeable person. I reached out to him, told him about the break-up, and asked if he was up to going out that weekend. This dude gets invited all the time to events and often has to turn people down. I started hanging out with him every weekend and my social circle grew and grew. I was practicing social media game at the time and my instagram followers doubled within a few months from all the new people I met. I started getting invited out to events like birthday trips and skydiving. My friend would even tell me that people would tell him to invite me. I started spinning plates and I had a new social circle of people who actually liked spending time with me and respected me.

A few months later, I made another life changing decision. The company I'd worked for had become overwhelmingly stressful and toxic. The company was being sued for sexual harassment, and my new manager was just the worst person I'd ever met. To give some context, she got fired a month after I quit for getting drunk during a company convention and had to get carried to her room by a stranger.

Anyways, I quit my job, with no backup plan and was now unemployed. 2 amazing friends that I'd met through my high school buddy were buying a house in the next state over. I asked if they were going to have a spare bedroom and they said yea. 2 months later I moved in with them. This was a year ago.

The past year has been full of crazy and happy experiences. I've met even new friends and spun new plates. I've really "found myself". I really enjoy my time alone even though I have lots of people now in my life who I feel genuine love from. My last birthday we threw a house party and lots of people showed up. My friends threw the whole thing. I got home-made cake and a pinata.

modern-day-hemingway · 2019-01-15T05:29:55+00:00

hey man you're only one semester in. The friends I started college with were no longer friends when I finished (thank god) You'll find new, better friends along the way brother. better to find out now that your former friends were fucking losers now rather than investing more time with them only to find out later

wish you the best

suscitare · 2019-01-14T07:51:10+00:00

Join some clubs.

Title	Lost my main friends, feeling empty.
Author	iwant2beElonmusk
Upvotes	3
Comments	20
Date	January 14, 2019 7:48 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/aftjxg/lost_my_main_friends_feeling_empty/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/lost-my-main-friends-feeling-empty.163983 https://theredarchive.com/post/163983

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