Hey guys,

Been lurking for the past several years. Read side-bar and been applying it for years. First off, thank you to all of the senior members of the community who have given me the knowledge and tools to go down the right path.

A little background on me first: age 23, just graduated from university, pre-med and slated to apply next cycle, decent fitness (former boxer) but needs some work to lose lbs and am starting a new weights program. I grew up with a single mother, was obese and a complete bitch until beginning of college where I found TRP and hit the gym hard. Went from having absolutely no experience or hope with girls to slowly but surely getting better and better. I'm willing to elaborate more if need be, but it's a common story around here. Moving on.

LTR

I recently decided (3 months ago) to enter an LTR (my first) with a girl (HB7, age 20) that I had been plating for 3 months before that. She was not the only plate I had, but I had reached the point where I wanted to try out an LTR with her as she had shown some positive characteristics. Honestly, I also got tired of hooking up with random girls after a few bad experiences. She is in no way perfect, but I try to be more realistic about my expectations. We are currently doing LDR (NorCal vs SoCal) for summer but that is slated to end in a month and she has put in the effort to be in constant communication with me and even fly down for a couple weekends.

The Good

Some of her positive characteristics include:

  • Parents still married
  • Good relationship with parents
  • Nurturing towards younger brother
  • In shape and stays in shape
  • N-count of 6 (x3 rule still applies so I'm under no illusions here)
  • First actual relationship and has shown ability to be led and moulded
  • Feminine behavior towards me
  • Accepting of ground rules (basic stuff like no drinking w/o me, no male friends, no drama etc)
  • Accepting of Captain / First Mate dynamic
  • Took care of me when I became sick with pneumonia
  • Thoughtful gifts for my graduation
  • Education orientated (wants to go to law school and become a DA)
  • Able to discuss issues calmly and rationally
  • Similar ethnic and religious background
  • Firm moral compass (for a woman, anyways)
  • Overall, good treatment of me and has shown extremely high levels of investment in me thus far (she was first to drop the L bomb)
  • Lastly, high sex drive and submissive in bedroom with no issues there (I'm by far the best she's had in this category)

These are some of the positive traits that she exhibited, but if it was all positive then I wouldn't be typing this out now would i?

The Bad

Like anything in life, there will be some bad with the good. Women are no exception, and as she is a woman neither is she.

  • In a sorority (issue because of easy access to party lifestyle)
  • Went out frequently once she moved away from home
  • Low alcohol tolerance and tendency to act slutty when drunk (even has an alter ego for that)
  • Would drink, hook up with random guys at parties (unknown number, but significant)
  • Friend group is a mix of slutty / non-slutty girls
  • Stubborn and argumentative at times
  • Lied about having oral sex with a guy over Spring Break
    • This is probably my biggest issue here. This happened a month into plating, so we were not committed and I was still sleeping with other girls. First off, I told her from the very beginning that I was sleeping with other girls and that she was free to do the same but I wanted her to practice safe sex and to tell me. Over Spring Break she went out of town and claims to have had only oral sex with a random guy. When I initially asked about it in a round-about way, she denied doing anything. It wasn't until much later when we became official that she trickle truth'd me about it. She still holds that it was oral only, but I'm of the belief that if a girl will suck a guy off she'll gladly fuck him. As far as I'm concerned, the hooking up and dishonesty by itself is a huge red flag and I would be lying if this wasn't the main cause of concern moving forward. If she lied about one, she'll lie about others in the future.
  • Family issues are present in the extended family, as well as a few in the nuclear family (would prefer not to go into too much detail here)
  • When asked questions about sexual past, has given conflicting reports
  • Emotionally closed off at times (meaning she will act fine but not really)
  • Expressed desire to travel (we all know why girls want to travel)
  • Has had ONS before (expressed remorse about this, don't really believe her)
  • All sex has been outside of LTRs, even expressed desire to go out and "have her fun" before settling down

In Summary

In short, I have a girl here who is not a terrible girl but has shown red flags. Thus, I am left conflicted. Or I was. While writing this out, it made it pretty clear that I may have a mild case of oneitis for this girl and have let my emotions and sex cloud my judgement. All of this I have known about since shortly we became official, but have opted for a "wait-and-see" approach. After reflection and thought, I am left at an impasse where I need to choose either to continue with the relationship or to drop her and go back to plating multiple girls. Given that the lying about Spring Break has left me not trusting her fully, combined with the other red flags noted, I honestly don't see this ending in a good way for me. I suppose my biggest fear is twofold: one, missing out on a good opportunity for an LTR and two, causing significant damage to her if I do leave. However, before I proceeded I wanted to hear from the community at large and see what you thought. Also, if any of you have any tips for improving vetting process, cultivating abundance mentality, and fighting oneitis please share. Thank you!

"EDIT:" Hey guys, thanks for the input. I now know what I have to do moving forward: cut my losses and go monk mode for a bit. Thanks again and keep it classy gents.