Managing LTR Behavior [Punish/Reward, Frame]

BasketCase559 · 2017-02-24T15:00:49+00:00

Can't believe you stayed on the phone for 5-10 minutes while she chatted with her cousin.

The problem that I see isn't that she hung out with her obviously beta coworker, but that she chose to do so over hanging out with you, if I understand correctly.

So far you've played it correctly. You withdrew your time and she's picked up on it and started to chase you a little.

You've made it clear you don't approve of her "relationship" with this guy, yet she continues to hang out with him. It's up to you to decide whether you're going to tolerate this behavior or cut her off.

As long as she's a plate, I see no reason to cut her off, but I question her suitability for LTR.

DonaldBaelish · 2017-02-24T15:51:37+00:00

Skimmed the post. Cut this "I'm so tired/exhausted" bullshit. Tell that to your homies. Tell your bitch that you are going to the gym, going to read some millionaire book or learning how to build a car.

Don't tell her you have family problems. Don't tell her you have any problems. This is for the MALE part of your life. And male weakness? Women don't care, don't understand and don't give a fuck.

Just my two cents while I'm waiting at the car wash.

RPShitlord · 2017-02-24T14:37:05+00:00

Dread her and start hanging out with other girls. Don't plan on anything long term with her, high quality girlfriends aren't seen in bars alone catching up with ex coworkers. It wasn't enough to catch up when everyone else was there?

A_Rex · 2017-02-24T14:54:59+00:00

Trust but verify.

He'll text her on occasion to invite her out which she has turned down every time

Doesn't sound like she wants to fuck him

proceeded to tell me that her and this one guy walked over to another bar once everyone left to grab a bite to eat, had another beer, she told him she was tired and left by 9pm.

Again, trust but verify. If true, then you're being fucking gay. That's unattractive.

We spoke around 10pm that night when she was already at her cousins house where she was spending the night.

This is after you tried to meet up with her during or immediately after this work reunion. Know what this says? It says THIRSTY. It says I HAVE NO ABUNDANCE MENTALITY OR OUTCOME INDEPENDENCE. It says I'M AS BETA AS THAT OTHER GUY.

Need to internalize the sidebar more. If she does cheat, who cares, you replace her with 5 plates. If you're a high value man, you don't need to worry about it. Know who would waste his time and look like a desperate loser by calling her a bunch of times when she goes out to a one-time function and then ends up at her cousins house at 9pm? I'll give you a hint: it comes right after alpha in the Greek alphabet.

asktrpthrow123 · 2017-02-24T16:35:34+00:00

A little bit of management is ok but if this kind of stuff happens too often, it's not a good LTR in my eyes. I think it's alright if you ghost her for a day but you have to make it seem like it didn't phase your mood. Often it's not worth having an LTR with a girl with male friendships she likes to keep around (especially true if you don't have female friendships). Most women don't even understand why it's a bad thing and explaining it to them isn't worth it.

My ex-LTR would be in situations like yours but if I asked her to hang out, she'd often leave her friends to come spend time with me. I remember on New Year's eve she had a small home party with her friends planned and she really wanted me to go. I told her I wanted to say home and relax and that she could go have a good time. She didn't want to sit at home on NYE so she said she'd go, but "somehow" she ended up feeling like not going and ended up coming to see me. She wanted to spend it with me all along although she framed it as not wanting to go because she didn't "feel like it" to preserve her ego or whatever. Ended up taking her out to see fireworks as a reward. She was really happy we went out that night.

These scenarios often happened with her. She was a party-type (I know, mistake on my part), and I am not so often I'd be interested in going to the gym or doing some freelance work over a party at night, and she'd always leave early to come hang out with me and ditch parties when I was free.

Kommanderdude · 2017-02-24T16:34:50+00:00

Here's a different spin on what others are posting. Op puts it out there he would like to see ltr. Ltr invites Op to come to her ex coworker party thing( presumably too show him off because she thinks he's alpha) but throws the "if you want to" in there because she herself doesn't want to seem needy. Op declines the offer because he's being a baby bitch. Ltr then goes out afterwards with beta orbiter emotional tampon to complain that op never wants to do anything and she doesn't know how to keep his attention. Then goes to see cousin after useful beta listened to her shit and did his job as a tampon. Now Op is throwing a bitch fit because she did her own thing even though op wanted to do something in the first place. Had op shown up to said party. Beta billy probably would have been intimidated and turned off by Op's presence and stopped texting Op's ltr.

What I gather is that OP is an emotionally unstable bitch. Op should have shown up to said function and become the life of the party which would have only reinforced Op's alphaness to the ltr when everyone was telling her how awesome Op was. Op blew it plain and simple.

Title	Managing LTR Behavior [Punish/Reward, Frame]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	12
Date	February 24, 2017 2:25 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5vxpej/managing_ltr_behavior_punishreward_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/managing-ltr-behavior-punishreward-frame.216881 https://theredarchive.com/post/216881

Comments