I just out of a really labor intensive conversation with my mother about how I got caught drunk off of a video my brother had saved off his phone. Yes I know that was dumb, but it was fall break. I don’t make a habit out of it.

Let me also say that my mother has been a part of mlms, antivax/science, and can be verbally abusive.

Anyways, I got lectured for that, and then she then linked that to being a recent outlet for my emotions about her divorce. She proceeds to tell me that I’m doing this because I’m mad with her, even though I’m not, and when I explained that to her she said I was just suppressing it. Bullshit.

From there, she then goes from that to my lack of focus, and that she is pretty spot on with. I have been going down the reddit/instagram rabbit hole and listening to music, all of which keep me from really doing my homework and finishing my Eagle Scout Project. I’m always been more naturally gifted in intelligence, nothing too crazy, but I don’t really try during my homework and can get away with not doing it avoid bad repercussions. I understand that I’m not very focused, but I’ve been making strides to try and fix that. I got a calendar, a to-do list in my room somewhere, and have deleted snapchat.

Here’s the kicker... She wants to get me evaluated for ADHD, as apparently my dad has it and so does my grandma on his side (I’m a wee bit suspicious). I’m scared that if I do that I’ll get put on medication, which I’ve only heard bad things about. I run XC, so physical exercise isn’t the issue.

Now how we got there from me getting caught I don’t know. But I’m a tiny bit confused about this whole conversation and somethings just aren’t clicking. What are y’alls thoughts on this, and how do you suggest I go forward?