I don't really know where to begin. I have been intensely reading for the past two years and trying to find some form of truth in this world. I have been spending a lot of time on my own. I have fallen.

My body and mind have become sensitive to the environment. By sensitive I mean, people's opinions effect me to the point where I doubt myself based on people's opinions. For example, If someone told me: 'you walk weird', I would begin to decipher whether this is true and feel like a retard momentarily. I try to decipher the talking point. By 'body' I mean that my body has become very edgy

There is a strong haze over my mind and I can't really think clearly anymore. I am extremely depressed and there's much more I haven't written. I have spent a lot of time alone in the past year, studying and talking minimally with cashiers and parents. (I have a lot of hate for them). Even writing this post is difficult because my mind is slow as fuck. I am sleeping at 6-7am till 5pm at night.

Fear and paranoia have also began to take form in my mind with random shit. I think this has a lot to do with not being socially active and just reading too much, isolation etc.

It takes courage to chase your dreams and I can see why people choose the norm. These past five years have been excessively stressful and I feel like I am operating on a different paradigm to the average person which makes it even more difficult to talk to people. I want to reiterate that my mind is so slow and I have lost all hope.

I am 23 and live in the UK. My parents are eastern european immigrants and this makes it even more difficult for them to understand what I am going through.

I guess what I'm looking for is a plan of action or familiarity? Anyone experienced anything similar?