It’s been three years. We met when I was 16, I’m 19 now.

I lost 200lbs. I lifted. I attained physical goals I thought impossible. I started to attain 4.0s after starting college with a 2.7, and haven’t gotten less than a 3.9 since. I’ve fucked countless amounts of girls, in a range of ethnicities, races, creeds, classes, statuses, looks, and more. I’ve traveled, tried psychedelics, excelled at everything I’ve strived to do. I’ve worked in a wide variety of jobs alongside school, and have amassed a sizable savings account. I’ve felt the rush of my calls and puts maximizing their profits. I’ve excelled at LSAT practice, smashing diagnostic scores out of the fucking park. But there’s one problem that always finds a spot deep in the aching caverns of my chest at 3:00am: her.

I can’t get rid of the idea of ‘her’. This always hurts to write, but this shit is anonymous, it’s the only place I can get this shit out. We never even fucked. I was an orbiter to the nth degree. She was the first girl to give me attention after I stopped being a fat fuck. Ghosted shortly after: severe small dick energy. All the things I’ve listed above: I’ve done since.

I really don’t know what to do. I reached out recently and in more or less words, she told me to fuck off. Can anyone share any similar experiences?