I'm going to try to keep this short. I have broken up with my girlfriend for about 3 months now. We were together for two years, and i may have had the biggest oneitis on her. I apologize in advance how fucking lame and bluepill this all might sound..

The feelings and love i had for her were fucking HUGE. Everything went great. She was LTR material in every way. But we split up eventually, a nasty breakup nonetheless, caused by fuckups on both of our sides.

The nasty breakup caused hate towards me on her side, and she (surprise surprise) met another guy in a week, started dating on week two after our breakup. I was fucking broken, never been so depressed in my life. I shouldn't have let it affect me so greatly, but it still did. I'm still young (18), learning about redpill, i know the theory but putting it into practice is freaking hard. Had suicidal thoughts, went into a deep depression, but i fought it kind of. We still remained in contact, i still wanted to see her because im a beta faggot who can't get over her ex..

So we saw. She had another boyfriend at this point, and i tried to get her to dump him and get back with me. Fucking pathetic, but that's what i did. I really saw her as a unicorn, even though she had hurt me badly and continued to hurt. There she was, fucking another guy after two weeks of a serious relationship breakup, and i was still trying to win her back.

The thing is, i really dont actually want her back, she treated me like shit during and after the breakup. I have a small hate towards her as well. But i still have the feels for her.. and forget about everything when im with her.

Fast forward to now, they broke up obviously, she's still in my life, we have fucked a few times.. But here's the problem. I still have an "addiction" to her..

  1. I cant help but fucking instantly reply her messages, meanwhile i can go about ignoring my plates for days
  2. I keep thinking about her and my emotions and the good times we had in our relationship, sometimes it makes me want to go back together.
  3. This is where it gets fucked up. I currently have 4 plates, ready to fuck, but the problem is right here. ->

ED. No matter what, i cant fucking get it up. I've tried even for 4 freaking hours with a girl, it didn't happen. I've attempted this for about 10 times now, with different girls. I just dont feel anything when im with them, we make out, grind, clothes come off, i eat them out making them cum, but when it's time for my dick, it just goes totally limp. Like, never seen it so limp even in cold weather..

And this isn't a case of being nervous, atleast i don't think so. I've had sex atleast 300 times during that relationship (we were each other's first sex partners first kiss etc.) and i can tell you i am VERY confident in bed.

I don't masturbate, maybe once a week max. Without porn. I exercise alot, shredded and muscly, i eat and sleep and drink enough, it's none of these things. I could try for hours and hours and i wouldnt even get a semi-boner with my plates, which are anyway above 8 so quality is not a problem either. But here's what i've noticed.

This one time though, i was with one plate and we were making out, she was on her periods and wanted to give me a blowjob still. We made out, my boxers came off, semi boner but after a while of her rubbing it, it just disappeared again. Went limp. We made out in hope of it coming back again, we made out for, not even kidding, probably 15 minutes straight. After that 15 minutes, a image or a flashback came into my mind of a view of my ex in doggystyle. Instantly i noticed a semi-boner. Then she said something along the lines of "i love it when you pull my hair" because i was doing that while making out. Boom, full boner. Got a blowjob. Was happy and surprised. Why can i pull THIS off then? Observation: dirty talk etc causes boners to me, noticed this in the past too. It was most likely a combination of her saying that sentence, and me having a image of my ex that made me get an erection. This is the one time i had an erection with another girl.

Occasionally i see my ex, sometimes we fuck, no commitment though. But i noticed how i got a boner even from hugging her. Im not even kidding, all it takes is a hug for me to get a raging boner. Then just looking at her body, naked, makes me hard. Just kissing her, making out, makes me hard. What the fuck is this? I do the same things or even bigger things with other girls who are even better looking, but i don't get an erection? Could it be that i'm still in love with her and have oneitis ? How do people even manage to cheat is what im wondering, im single and i cant fuck other girls no matter what just because of my ex.. Please help. Im sure it's possible to fuck several girls at the same time, but why can't i do it?

TL;DR: Broke up, have several plates, cant get an erection no matter what, but my ex makes me get raging erections just by kissing/hugging/being naked in front of me. What is this and how do i fix it?