Recurring problem on setting up dates

linkofinsanity19 · 2018-12-14T23:51:46+00:00

Women flake/ all the time, and it can be for many different reasons. Some may flake/ghost because someone more Chad hit them up. Some may flake/ghost because they don't think you will like them. Some may flake/ghost because they got back with their ex, or because they decided after setting the date that they weren't that attracted to you. Hell, I've unmatched or ghosted women after setting dates because I realized after further review of their pics that they're fatter than they try to portray or they're not attractive, but just good at taking pictures of themselves. (I've gotten a lot better at catching this).

Also, once you set the date, it becomes real to them. Many women today would rather sit back and get validation from social/matches rather than risk rejection from a guy, and women take rejection harder than men usually. It's kind of like guys choosing to only watch porn because they are afraid of being rejected by women.

What I do is forget about those who ghost me. Just soft next them, maybe hard next them. Either way, they aren't going to produce a date. Focus on finding more women who will. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can really do in a lot of the cases above. If your messaging is only logistics and maybe slight amount of banter, and your profile is on point (not breaking the 2 Cardinal Rules of Tinder), then there's not much else you can do about this.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2018-12-15T03:15:43+00:00

My guess is, you're inviting them to your place far too early. You may know you're cool...but chicks don't yet. You're stronger than them, and they also don't wanna be seen as sluts.

Set your first meet up somewhere public, so she feels safe. Make your first meet about building rappore, connection, leading the conversation. I don't even think about sex on a first date with someone I barely know. You can come across as a creep and needy.

Have fun, build rappore, and come off as you are generally interested to know who they are and that you're qualifying them.

Don't be needy. Second or third meet up at most, is where I invite them to mine...always with the 'axe murderer' or 'you're not allowed to throw yourself at me' line.

I invite a bit earlier, so we can cook, build comfort, keno, escalate and boooom

ttann71 · 2018-12-14T23:53:22+00:00

You set up a tinder date at your place? First meeting? I’m assuming she thought you might murder her.

redhawkes · 2018-12-14T23:53:25+00:00

You should be leading from the beginning. When you're setting up the date, tell her what time and where.

Do not double text. Go with your friends, she'll text you (if) when she arrives.

gregoire_ · 2018-12-15T00:02:07+00:00

What was the plan? You almost never want to invite someone directly over to your place because murder.

linkofinsanity19 · 2018-12-15T00:57:55+00:00

Be attractive. 2. Don't be ugly. There are several Ti der guides to help on the main sub if you're profile is what's lacking.

Title	Recurring problem on setting up dates
Author	icecruzader
Upvotes	2
Comments	10
Date	December 14, 2018 11:38 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a6a653/recurring_problem_on_setting_up_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/recurring-problem-on-setting-up-dates.70687 https://theredarchive.com/post/70687

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