Remaining stoic

2comment · 2016-01-29T06:26:42+00:00

And if you talked with the raised voice all the time, people would start to tune you out. Being stoic is long term strategy and you're describing a short term tactic that would wear thin quickly when overused.

Here's the thing, you can be in an argument with someone who is all excited and shouting, and if you stay cool and even disinterested -- you can deflate them to the point where they lose interest if it's just a nonsense fight. Elevated emotion often needs to meet elevated emotion to stay there.

Without delving into your situation's specific's, you don't need to avoid confrontation but most heated arguments are pointless (Don't argue with fools) and most times no one comes out smelling like a clear winner.

yGTWgtNrco · 2016-01-29T09:02:03+00:00

What's your aim in getting into the argument? Is it to change minds or simply be louder than the other guy? If you want to change minds in a lasting manner, then "everyone" will lend the calm person more credence than the crazed loon. If you just want to be loud, then (of course) you'll have a better time being the crazed loon. So, I must ask you, /u/NeedHDstreampls, what's your pleasure?

dr_warlock · 2016-01-29T16:32:56+00:00

Tip: When someone talks over you, continue finishing your sentence. Then when they stop, repeat what you said. If you let people cut you off, it will be seen as submission.

princepeanutbutter · 2016-01-29T14:18:10+00:00

As something of a natural stoic I'd say it's a total attitude change and not something that can be applied here or there. If someone is in an argument with me, first I see they are angry. I just see it because anything more is out of my control. If there is something I hope to achieve with this argument I do what I can to make my point, but 99% of the time I have nothing to argue about so your problem is probably at the source.

alexfred693 · 2016-01-29T15:20:23+00:00

The Enchiridion and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius are good places to start.

nastynickdr · 2016-01-29T19:28:53+00:00

If you are seen as low value people wont give you attention. Work on that.

abdada · 2016-01-29T04:57:54+00:00

You care what other people think?

Title	Remaining stoic
Author	NeedHDstreampls
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	January 29, 2016 4:56 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/437c1j/remaining_stoic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/remaining-stoic.160016 https://theredarchive.com/post/160016

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