TL;DR:

Started an LTR with a very Beta mindset. Girlfriend rarely meets my (admittedly high) standards for engagement/enthusiasm/physical affection. I'm strongly considering breaking up with her, and have a few hypotheses on the situation/outcome:

1. She's not that affectionate because she’s not that type of person / I’m not the right person to make her tingle.

2. She's not that affectionate because I chased her hard at the beginning of the relationship , and it’s not recoverable.

3. She's not that affectionate because I chased her hard at the beginning of the relationship , and a full reset (breaking up with her) is the only way to fix that.

Ask

Perspective/objectivity

Anything I should consider in how I handle the breakup?

Details

OP History (this is all providing context/color, not intended to brag/blow smoke up your ass)

6’ 2”, 195 lbs (average a measured 8% bf)

Face: 8/10

27

87.8 percentile on income (not where I would like to be, but for my age, and extremely wealthy area, I’ll take it)

Dx’d anxiety & depression (currently managed through 9+ hours of sleep, LIFTING, and staying far away from substances)

Relationship History

I met this girl, (who I would quickly describe as a 7/10, athletic, a bit soft) out skiing one day. Now, it just so happens that the only thing OP likes more than pussy is skiing. Shit’s like a drug for me.

I’d come off a string of LTRs and plating periods that I had been unhappy with, despite them meeting most people’s requirements, because I couldn’t ski with them.

I was able to get them where I wanted for the most part - sex 3x a day, submissive in the bedroom, sweet as apple pie around my family, etc. It’s worth noting, I did the above through a mixture of decent looks, mediocre physical game, and luck. I definitely did not have an abundance mindset, and I think my success was largely luck…

All that being said, I spend 4 months of winter skiing 3-4x a week. It’s a huge part of my life and social circle, so when I came across a moderately attractive girl who could rip, I chased her like she was oxygen. Looking back at it, I’m cringing. I hit her up too much, I asked her to be exclusive, I asked her to be my GF, I bought her fancy new skis, etc. These were pre-TRP days, and thinking about it now makes me cringe.

The problem with the current girl, is that she has never come close to the affection levels (emotional or physical) that I’ve experienced with previous LTRs. Its been a great 18 months of skiing, traveling, etc (mostly on my dime). But I can’t help but be concerned about the long term viability of a relationship that is sexually unsatisfactory (to quantify it, probably .75x per time we hang out, with infrequent bouts of higher activity). I know it’s not all about sex - I don’t get the emotional affection I usually do from other girls either.

Before I read TRP theory, I assumed it was something wrong with me - I bent over more to make her happy, which made her less happy. Funny how that works. I’ve slowly course corrected with small doses of TRP ( in regards to holding frame, passing shit tests, focusing on male friends and work), but I’ve had trouble generating active dread. At the beginning of the relationship, I was at 65% satisfaction in the physical/emotional realm with her. It’s up to 80% now. I feel like I’ve plateaued though, on those last few points.

We’re going to Whistler for 10 days over NYE. If she’s still distant, I’m going to cut her loose. It’s the situation I would expect intimacy to thrive in - nice hotel, no work, fun things to do after skiing, etc. So if it doesn’t go well, I feel that I’m in a good position to know I can’t move the needle on her. What are your thoughts?