There is this girl with whom I have a simultaneously simple and complex relationship with. It is fun in the moment, but every time I see her I leave unfulfilled and feel like less of a man; I'd like to get the community's perspective on my situation and some steps I can take, internally or externally.

  • Our relationship: I have known her for about 6 months but we have only talked for 2-3 of them. Our relationship is flirty, fun, and authentic. I'm positive and laid back and she is enthusiastic and passionate. She confides in me her feelings and we support one another emotionally, which is cool. We both have mutual romantic feelings (or so it seems/she says) towards one another. We talk every day and I have noticed when I pull away from doing so, she wants that attention back - a basic concept that I'll be playing with more in days to come.

  • Physically: we have kissed/made out, and she's okay with me touching her wherever I'd like whenever I'd like. On that same note, we talk dirty to each other in person (lit), in text, and trade pics. It's super fucking interesting sexually, but she hasn't touched me beyond kissing. We go to AA and community service together, but she literally will not hang out with me outside of probo-related things because she said "If we hang out, I know I'll sleep with you."

  • Which leads us to the real issue: She has a boyfriend of also about 6 months. She lives with him, because she feels like she has no other option, due to emotional abuse in her family household. However, she is not satisfied in the relationship (which is where I come in).

I, on the other hand, am living with my parents and just now got a job I plan to keep. I'm a little behind the 8 ball, externally.

The point is that I do not want to be the crutch, the side hoe, the gap to fill in the void of what she is not getting from her boyfriend. I notice he does not give her attention; I do. He does not compliment her or notice differences in her looks; I do. However, we did community service today and I decided that I am just fed up with this shit... being the 'option' and having nothing to show for it besides unfulfilled feelings and needs.

A final note: I got formally introduced to The Red Pill yesterday by two buddies, and we spent a long time talking this out tonight. If I had to conclude our discussion in a few points it would be to lay off, don't put all my eggs in one basket, and to game other girls so it's not focused around her (as one of my friends said, becoming an "orbiter.")

What do you guys think? This has been bothering me for quite a while and this seems like a great place for a reality check and some answers. Thanks :)