Social anxiety

EarlySpend3 · 2021-03-25T12:11:02+00:00

This could be a deep rooted issue with being confident. I suggest you should see a shrink if you could afford and help with this.

We have a popular saying in my language which is "Talking is for free''. It's very hard to translate it. It also means it's harmless. When you talk to someone you will never hurt them and it does not cost you anything. If you have this mentality then you should be able to speak to anyone knowlly you will not lose anything and maybe you will gain from it.

This helped me a lot when i was young, now i could speak with anybody with zero anxiety.

CoyoteMiyamoto · 2021-03-25T12:09:56+00:00

Sounds like you need to go see a therapist, brother. Also, you should lay off any substances. If you're dependent on a stimulant to "be yourself", you're not free. It will just make you even more anxious.

brave_snow02 · 2021-03-25T14:17:14+00:00

What helped me alot was getting in the habit of talking to everyone. And walking up to people and asking for the time

Don_Draper27 · 2021-03-25T13:29:25+00:00

My story is exactly the same as yours!

Something that helps tremendously with meeting new people or overall being in a social scene is to tell myself that "I don't have to try and be cool. I'm already cool, but, let's just not do anything that is uncool." Aka, assume the sell.

This helps a ton with relieving the pressure of feeling like I need to make a hilarious joke, tell an insane story, or perform ninja jitsu to make the cute girl like me.

Also, the #1 rule for charisma is to just be a good listener. It's extremely simple. Eye contact, consciously follow what they are saying, and most importantly, just ask them questions you're interested in. Listen to a Joe Rogan podcast and pay attention to how he leads a conversation. He asks questions he's genuinely interested in. If someone is telling your their life story of how the grew up in Kansas 🙄, ask them what they're craziest weather story is.

themostgianthorse · 2021-03-25T13:44:52+00:00

Yeah man. You sound like a younger version of myself. I commend you on doing the work.

It sounds like you are willing to put yourself out there. Have you ever considered joining toastmasters? This will force you to have ALL attention on you in a short time frame.

Therapy may also be an option for you. If you go this route, you need to work with a therapist who will develop a plan for you. Use the SMART system as you develop the plan. EMDR may be something to look into further.

A real turning point for me was reading NMMNG, doing the exercises and joining the FB group. One of the moderators in the group is also a counselor. I worked with him one on one for 3 months and joined a private group that he host on a weekly basis. It’s not free but I’ve made more progress here than in all my 16 years of therapy and trying every SSRI on the block.

Additionally, I’ve come to view situations that make me anxious as a challenge. It sounds very woo woo but I imagine each of these situations to be the universe calling me to be more powerful as a man. And I accept challenges damn it! Doesn’t always keep my palms from being sweaty but it does help me keep perspective and steer me back into a calmer frame of mind.

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CompetitiveAd4912 · 2021-03-25T12:47:22+00:00

Stop fapping and watching porn. If you like mushrooms try microdosing them

MoreAlfa · 2021-03-25T16:04:41+00:00

Remember, they are more afraid of you than you are afraid of them.
No wait, that's snakes.

You are afraid of acting poorly? Is that the issue? Are you worried about saying something stupid?

Stop doing drugs because they are beta AF and just smile and laugh. Don't worry about saying stuff. Just smile and laugh and don't worry about saying anything. One day, you will finally say something and it will be cool and funny, but until then, just smile and laugh.

Title	Social anxiety
Author	kingofsnake96
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	March 25, 2021 12:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/mcwkzv/social-anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/social-anxiety.1598271 https://theredarchive.com/post/1598271

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