Something I find ironic. Please help.

TalkingMonkeys · 2015-03-07T19:16:52+00:00

Entertaining a woman is the equivalent of maintaining a hobby.

Sounds like you need more hobbies.

Get on that.

txnative · 2015-03-07T19:52:20+00:00

"I understand dating multiple women helps eliminate one-itis. When I date one woman at a time I get horrible one-itis, how do I get rid of my one-itis?"

Its almost like you inadvertently answered your own question. Date multiple women. Its not that you have to sling your dick around for the rest of your life and date 20 year olds forever, although that is an option. But its more so about training your self to understand that women don't make you happy. YOU make you happy. And that putting all your eggs in one basket is never a good idea.

As you stated, you're new, so I understand that some of the suggestions you will hear come from the TRP community may seem counter-productive. But over time once you understand the rationale behind these bits of advice your views will change.

Good luck,
TxNative

karmasutur3 · 2015-03-07T19:49:00+00:00

The problem is, once I start seeing one woman exclusively, the cracks start to show. I start becoming needy and fixated. I don't want to approach other women to remove the pressure because I'm looking for commitment, but at the same time, I need to figure out an approach for crushing the needy behaviour.

Your neediness is a symptom, not the disease.

You have to get to the point where you are the prize, and you know it.

The suggestions that TRP makes are designed to lead you down the path to bettering yourself, and to understanding yourself once you have.

It's like being a drug addict, having low self esteem as a man. It's been fed to us, programmed that we aren't worth much, and we seek out 'fixes' instead of looking at the root issues.

You get needy cause you on some level are thinking she can fix you.On some level you think unfettered love and unconditional affection will fix you. It won't.

You are a man. We are the fucking pillars of civilization , of science, of art, of sport, of invention. YOU are.

When you can learn to see yourself through the right lens, you realize just how incredibly rare and valuable you are, once you split from the hordes of lazy ass, weak betas.

Any woman in her right mind would KILL for that kind of man. So, once you are it, you start treating yourself like it, you don't need her validation, you don't need her attention or affection. And she better be bringing you what you want (NOT need) and toeing the line, in order to keep you.

TLDR: you cant fix needy by any other method than self improvement and self awareness.

vinnleet · 2015-03-07T21:23:40+00:00

Imagine a god descended and gave you a proposition, "Here I have laid out 100 women you consider 10/10 with varying personalities. Here's the catch: You have to marry one. Or else I will take them all away. You can fuck, date, probe, etc to figure out which woman you want to marry. Simple enough?"

Because all of the sudden you have all these beautiful women at your disposal, do you think you would fall in love with the first one you see? NO! The other 99 could be better heh? You will weed out all the bad ones over time and eventually you will find that 10/10 that you can settle with. Same goes with life, but instead of 100 women there is half of 7 billion! Isn't that awesome? So much girls to test to see if they are marriage material!

I personally do not see marriage as a goal in my life, but I hope this analogy can help you!

SkorchZang · 2015-03-07T21:45:20+00:00

You gotta look at it in some depth, what's your real reason for not wanting multiple women in your life?

If it's because you've been trying your best, but they drive you batshit crazy (can definitely relate), then that shows your frame needs more work, and you should probably think of reducing the number of plates (but never go less than 2) until you improve.

If you want one only one girl because you think having many is disloyal, makes you a bad guy, then that's just blue pill remnants speaking up in you, and they need to be killed with fire.

oldredder · 2015-03-08T00:18:33+00:00

logistics/perspective. I don't have time to date multiple women. This will cost me more time & money than I can spend. I also will have so little feelings for any of them it would make dating pointless period. I may as well strictly be hooking up for NSA-sex and not even get a name or give one at that level.

rptastic · 2015-03-08T07:09:05+00:00

1. Don't look for commitment.

It's been said many times: Women are the gatekeeper of sex, men are the gatekeeper of commitment.

If you start out by offering commitment, you've already lost the battle. You're no longer the prize, you're trying to tempt her with yesterday's leftovers.

If you get to the point where she is asking / begging you for commitment, then when she gets it, she feels like she's won something rare that other women would have to fight for. She will value it (and you).

If you don't want to date other women, as another poster suggested, find some hobbies. Don't let her come before them. Don't start spending all of your free time with her. Make her earn the time she gets to spend with you. If you ramp it up slowly, you will be less prone to oneitis.

Title	Something I find ironic. Please help.
Author	lionofthejungle
Upvotes	6
Comments	11
Date	March 7, 2015 7:02 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2y9iab/something_i_find_ironic_please_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/something-i-find-ironic-please-help.146775 https://theredarchive.com/post/146775

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